* ~ Nazhath Faheema ~ *

Gentlemen – contrary to the common belief

2011-12-09T20:18:00.001+08:00

There is a prevalent perception that Muslim men are oppressive. Feminism that has been dominated by western opinions has, over the years, planted the idea that a man who has strong faith in Islam supresses the freedom of his females (sisters, wives, daughters etc.).

Out of goodwill and no obligation, I thought I should share my opinion and experience with regards to this. After all who better than myself, a Muslim woman who has her feet in all kinds of parallel worlds (eastern, western, Islam etc.) can clarify this common confusion?

First and foremost, to judge this issue one should know that the Middle East or any other states that are by declaration run by Shariah law are not representatives of Islam. Yes, they predominantly appear to be a mark of Islamic values but it would be extremely narrow minded conclude that Islam is what is followed in these regions and nations.

Islam is what has been prescribed upon us by Allah and passed to us by Prophet (peace be upon him). That is all. To accept, interpret and follow is at our discretion and to judge us is at His (Allah’s) discretion.

So if you were a person with this ‘open mind’ that I speak about, then you would know that the Prophet (peace be upon him) had always advocated and always stood as a model example of what a “gentleman” is. He treated women with utmost respect. Failure to refer to history (Hadith) and teachings with regards to this is the fault of those with the impression that Islam is a religion that curfews freedom and rights of women.

If a man has truly learned the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (sal) and beyond reading the Quran and Hadith has absorbed the values into his character he would treat the women in his life and around him decently, equally and respectfully. If a man treats women in what many prefer to call “oppressive” then he definitely lacks knowledge of the message. He has chosen to be ignorant on what Allah would like of him.

In summary – It is not a Muslim man who is oppressive it is a Munafiqun (hypocrite) that is oppressive.

I know this because I have experienced both kinds. And, if you wish to know then you should broaden your reading, observing and judging.

May you be guided. Insha Allah.

What can i do if i do not look eligible for reserved seat?!

2011-11-14T22:21:00.005+08:00

A flash back :

My awful but amusing experience on the train ride back home

If you have been a dedicated follower of my tweets and FB status, then you would come to know that I am an strong advocate of "Give up your eat for those who need it".

It is in my nature to get worked up at young people who do not offer their seats in public transport to elderly people / pregnant women / handicaps or families with babies. I find it such a self-fish act to not give up the seat to those who need it. Sometimes, I ask them to offer the seat. Other times i just make a harsh and rude tweet about them. Fearing defamation suits, I do not click a picture of such ugly people and post it along with my tweet.

Today, someone officially and loudly labelled me "one of such immoral self fish ugly person" (those were not the words the person used. exaggeration added for dramatic expression).

I was standing in the train, on my way home, when the man seated at the reserved seat just right infront of me got up to alight. I was so glad he did. My back was absolutely hurting me and i was beginning to lose balance these days. I took the seat.

A lady who was standing, infront of me, (Lady Kind) asked another lady, pointing to my seat, (who was about in her late 40s or early 50s) if she wanted to sit. The lady looked at me and refused with a smile. She was clearly hinting that "the seat has been taken.". Lady Kind suddenly became annoyed with me. She said out loud, "This is reserved seat laey. Some people do not know meaning of reserved. Suppose to be for old people", with a mission to embarrass me. Mission accomplished. It certainly was embarrassing, because everyone around me looked me like I just murdered someone. (*exaggerating*)

I just pretended that the message was not heard and I continued reading. Well, she was not talking directly to me to respond with eye contact or explanation. :).

I could have told her politely: "Yes. It is reserved seat Mam and I believe it is reserved for pregnant ladies too". Then I was tempted to point to the icon above the reserved seat and say "And, I am sorry that I do not look pregnant like in the picture". But I chose not to defend.

What can I do if I do not look pregnant at my 5th month?! And, what can she do if she does not see a big bulging tummy that resembles that pregnant icon above the reserved seat?

I thought that the least I can do is to respect her intention to create awareness about the reserved seat, so i had to take the bullet of embarrassment for that 20 minutes of train ride. After all, she was not asking the seat for herself. Yes, it was awfully embarrassing to be looked at in such negative way. But what would be my loss at the innocent judgment of these people? Absolutely nothing.

The incident also made me wonder about my negative judgement on some people who never gave up their seat. Who knows what problems they had? The reserved seat is a benefit not an entitlement to claim, so I suppose this incident lighted a bulb over my narrow thoughts. Next time before I tweet about "ignorant young people who do not give up seat", I would recollect this incident and hold back a quick judgement. After all, who knows - they could be pregnant, but not looking pregnant. :)

Outcast

2011-10-23T10:22:00.002+08:00

The choices of the modern day caste system are strictly defined, limited and inaudible.

Either you are an outcast with no circle to line yourself with or you bend your backbone to be part of the circle that you cannot connect to (you should not connect to). The loss either way, depending on how you determine it, is only on your side.

The only good part of this social ill will is your freedom to make a choice.

Therefore, an outcast passes the temporary luxuries gifted by the circle and stands upright with his backbone knowing that Allah will reward him for the choice he made.

After all the options were checked only to please Allah to whom we are answerable to and who will judge us knowingly and justly.

The boy who amused, astounded and annoyed me

2011-10-14T23:31:00.004+08:00

I was standing a queue to buy myself some Pearl Milk Tea. In front of me was a boy who was about 1.3 metres in height and next to him was a woman who seemed mostly like the boy’s mother.

The mother was speaking to the boy, when he abruptly interrupted her.

He said , in a high but casual tone, “What are you trying to say? Say it straight. Don’t beat around the bush”.

I stood there amused, astounded and of course annoyed.

The phrase “Kids these days” seemed cliché until now. At this point, those three words were tight with meaning.

If I had ever said such a thing to my mother, in public or even in private, my mother would have definitely slapped me. In fact, if I had said that to anyone elder than me, my mother would have shown me hell on earth. That was how I was brought up. The rule to follow, without any exceptions was, “If you cannot speak with respect, then do not speak”.

I guess things are different now. Parents, with all the denial of age and mid-life crisis diseases, are no longer "elders". We prefer to be described as "still young, jovial, casual and friendly".

Well dudes and dudettes, I hope that works well for you and myself.

Anyhow, the incident made me slightly happy. I can finally tell my mother that she is so darn blessed to have had us for children.

My Post-Presidential Election Reflection

2011-08-31T16:41:00.004+08:00

How I see the candidates of the 1st REAL Preidential Election in Singapore :

Tan, Kin Lian :The True Singaporean

Tan, Tony : The Ideal Singaporean

Tan, Jee Say : The Unconventional Singaporean

Tan, Cheng Bok : The Preferred Singaporean

My perspective of the candidates, which I have shared above, was largely formed by gathering their appearance, their speeches, and their manner of speaking, their background, their families, their notions, their post-election behaviour and the general sentiments of family, friends and ‘netizens’. This opinion does not intend to, in any manner or whatsoever, to insult or criticise any of the candidates. Interpret at your discretion and agree or disagree as you may wish

‘Citizens without Citizenship’: A Complex Definition

2011-08-16T14:53:00.004+08:00

(This was one of my essays written for Global Social Issues module in University. In this month of August where a number of nations that are connected with me celebrate their National Day, I seem to ponder a lot on the meaning of Citizenship. And, so I thought I'll share my amateur piece of work)

When I read Sultany’s description of the Arabs in Israel as ‘citizens without citizenship’ (Rouhana and Sultany, 2003), I was bewildered. How is it possible for a person to be citizen without citizenship? And, as I tried to examine the flaw in his statement I realized that the complexity actually lies in the definition of ‘citizenship’.

In his classic essay, British sociologist T.H.Marshall defined citizenship as “a status bestowed on those who are full members of a community. All who possess the status are equal to the rights and duties with which the status is endowed” (cited by Lister, 2003). Reading Sultany’s description of the Arabs in Israel against this definition, I interpret that the Arabs are not ‘full members’ of Israel. And, this is de facto true.

Citizenship for Arabs and Jews in Israel was never equal (Rouhana and Sultany, 2003). According to a special provision made in the Nationality Law, those (Arabs) who remained in Israel from the establishment of the State in 1948 until the enactment of the Nationality Law of 1952 became Israeli citizens by residence (Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs, 2001). However Jews, being the majority in Israel, define the character of the state (Shamir and Sullivan, 1985). Therefore any person who is not Jew cannot be a full member of the Israeli community. And, I guess this explains why the Arabs, as Marshall puts it, are not treated ‘equal to the rights and duties with which the status (of citizenship) is endowed.’

Given Israel’s self-identification as an ethnic Jewish state, it is not surprising that the Jewish ethnocentrism has been placed as the most important ideological principle that guides the Israeli citizenship policies (Rouhana and Sultany, 2003). But, should citizenship in any state be based on ethnicity or religion? I guess it is neither possible nor fair to make a ‘right or wrong’ judgment on nations that have chosen this direction. When ethnicity or religion is part of the very definition of a state, I think it is a natural choice. And, of course the choice does not come without ramifications.

The general outcome of such a choice is discrimination. For instance, the Arabs in Israel who form 16% of the population (Rouhana and Sultany, 2003), are citizens but they are excluded from various opportunities and benefits by the government (Gold, 2007). Similarly in Japan, although the state has conferred a wide range of citizenship rights on Korean community, the Koreans do not enjoy full citizenship (Chung, 2006). Therefore it appears that the approach of these countries on citizenship is objectionable.

However, I think we need to move away from the conceptual and theoretical definition of citizenship. It is not practical to expect nation states to treat all persons on their land as equals. Since the times of Athenian democracy and the Roman Republic the core meaning of citizenship has been status of membership in a self-governing political community (Baubok, 2006).

As Lister (2003) puts it, “an understanding of citizenship in terms of membership underlines that what is involved is not simply a set of legal rules but a set of social relationship between individuals and the state and between individual states”. In countries such as Israel and Japan where a particular ethnicity or religion is dominant in the demographic majority, such ‘social relationships’ are even stronger. Therefore in protecting the interest of the majority, the states have little choice in widening the definition of citizenship.

To arrive at an exhaustive and comprehensive definition of ‘citizenship’ is difficult (Lister, 2003). And, like I mentioned theoretical definitions cannot be used to scrutinize the approach countries such as Israel and Japan. Hence, when we examine the notion of citizenship in any state it is important to bear in mind the nature of the population in that country. Maybe that will help us understand why the Arabs in Israel or the Koreans in Japan are referred to as “citizens without citizenship”.

References

Baubok, Rainer. 2006. “Citizenship and migration – concepts and controversies” pp. 15-31 in Migration and Citizenship: Legal status, rights and political participation. Amsterdam:Amsterdam University Press

Gold, Steven J. 2007. “Israeli Emigration Policy” pp.283-304 in Citizenship and Those Who Leave: The Politics of Emigration and Expatriation, edited by Green, Nancy L and Weil, Francois. Urbana; Chicago: University of Illinois Press

Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs. 2001. Acquisition of Israeli Nationality. Retrieved April 7, 2010 from http://www.mfa.gov.il/MFA/MFAArchive/2000_2009/2001/8/Acquisition%20of%20Israeli%20Nationality

Chung, Erin Aeran. 2006. “The Korean Citizen in Japanese Civil Society” p.128 in Japan’s Diversity Dilemmas: Ethnicity, Citizenship, and Education. Soo im Lee, Stephen Murphy- Shigematsy and Harumi Befu (eds). United States of America: iUniverse

Lister, Ruth. 2003. Citizenship: Feminist Perspectives. New York: Palgrave Macmillan Rouhana, Nadim N and Sultany, Nimber. 2003. “ Redrawing the Boundaries of Citizenhip: Israel’s New Hegemony” pp.5-22 in Journal of Palestine Studies, Vol. 33, No.1 (Autumn, 2003). University of California Press. Retrieved April 5, 2010, from http://www.jstor.org/stable/3247405

Shamir, Michal and Sullivan, John L. 1985. “Jews and Arabs in Israel: Everybody Hates Somebody, Sometime” pp.283-305 in The Journal of Conflict Resolution, Vol.29, No.2 (June,1985). Sage Publications Inc. Retrieved April 6, 2010 from http://www.jstor.org/stable/174102

Be a Pencil

2011-05-30T22:11:00.002+08:00

The pencil, "has five qualities which, if you manage to hang on to them, will make you a person who is always at peace with the world.

First quality: you are capable of great things, but you must never forget that there is a hand guiding your steps. ....

Second quality: now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharperner. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, he's much sharper. So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person.

Third quality: the pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes. This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps us to keep us on the road to justice.

Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside. So always pay attention to what is happening inside you."

Finally, the pencil's fifth quality: it always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be concious of that in your every action."

~Paul Coelho in page 10-11 of "Like the Flowing River" ~

The road on the other side

2011-05-30T12:00:00.000+08:00

I was having a BBM (Blackberry Messenger) conversation with my cousin Z. It was 6am in Dubai and he is on his way to work. He was chatting with while driving to work and with very brief pauses. I asked him how that is possible and he said, “15 to 20 minutes” at traffic lights. And, I went “OMG”.

I have heard about how bad the traffic in Dubai is, but 15 to 20 minutes at each traffic junction is annoying to even hear about. If I had to go to work each day after such long hours in traffic, I would most probably be grouchy all day at work.I live in a small island where it takes me about 40 minutes to work. I take a bus to train station and then a mass rapid train (MRT) to my work place with a few minutes of wait and few minutes of walk in between. And, this would be the itinerary for most working commuters.

I suppose if you were residing in cities like Dubai, our daily journey to work sounds blissful. But we, Singaporeans have our complaints. Sometimes the train takes six minutes to arrive and we know this because the LCD screen in the stations tells us so. Can you believe that? We are in the train station for six minutes at the train station doing absolutely nothing, but waiting.

When the trains arrive, we have no seats. It is very crowded and it is getting worse now. Many say it is because the population is increasing with the influx of the foreigners. Now, really this is intolerable. We, Singaporeans, do not get seats in the trains because there are too many foreigners coming into the country.

To top it all off, the weather is ridiculously warm. And, the air-conditioners in the bus or train are not sufficient to cool us off.

Well, you can take a car or taxi to work then. Why squeeze your mornings in the public transportation? Oh, but wait there will be ERP (toll) to the city parking in the city area is very expensive. Taxi then? Well I will need to wait for almost 10 to 15 minutes for a taxi; sometimes even more.

My oh my. For all these hassles, maybe I would prefer to switch places with cousin Z who is having a casual chat with me, during the “short” breaks, while driving to work in his car.

*A raised eyebrow if you do not get what I am trying to say*

The Corporate Ant

2011-05-24T22:11:00.000+08:00

I like the coffee in my office. I could not figure out the difference in the capsules. I could not be bothered to find out either. The coffee does me good. I need that coffee. It starts my day at work. The day that starts without the coffee is a bad day.

When I reach my desk, my laptop is on and my outlook is updated. Each day I try to scroll to the bottom of the inbox to go through emails received weeks or months ago. The idea is to spot the pending tasks. And each day, I fail to reach the top from the bottom. Halfway through I will receive new emails with new tasks or urgent tasks. The day then goes on with trying to finish those. And the pending tasks remain pending.

Then I tell myself to not look at the emails and finish my tasks that require me to read and research. I convince myself to give that task 100% attention and not check my emails every 3 minutes. If something was very urgent, the people concerned will call me, so I need not refresh my outlook frantically. But as I read and jot down notes, my Blackberry light blinks.

The Blackberry is not a mobile communication device. It is an organ that is not physically attached to my body but mentally connected to my neuro system. As soon as the light blinks or a beep is transmitted to my ears, my hands pick them up. It is an unconscious action; like how I would flick my hair to the back of my ear when it falls on my face.

An email notification would catch my eye and that will divert my attention from my task. Once again, another forever pending task pushed aside.

And this goes on till one day that pending-for-very-long task becomes urgent because my boss asks about. Then I take another cup of coffee and rush through work chanting “stress, stress stress” all through long.

That, my friends, is the day with the corporate ant.

Lazy in Luxury

2011-02-01T21:56:00.001+08:00

Once upon a time, not too long ago, I use to do all the cleaning, laundry and cooking in the house. And I did all this while studying full time at a university where you sometimes do not even see daylight.

The habit of doing my chores started since the age of 10, when I began to assist my mother. We never had a maid and never needed one.

When I was pregnant, we hired a maid to assist in the household chores. We trained her to do cleaning and cooking, our household style because we are not going to have time for this once the baby comes into the family. And this is how the problem began.

Now my maid does everything. Even making my coffee.
I cannot believe that I do not even make my own coffee anymore! I have submitted to her luxury of just saying "Kak! Coffee please" and tadaaa I get my coffee just the way I like it.

My maid is good and I have become lazy. The guilt is adding to my weight which I am gaining at an unacceptable rate.

Well I am not entirely wasting time either. I am working and then I have to spend time with my baby, but still that is no excuse to be not doing household chores. Maybe I should start with peeling and cutting the fruits each dat after work.

~ Posted using BlogPress from my iPad ~

Judging the cover

2011-01-31T19:58:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, when time is of a great value, it makes sense to make quick judgements from the cover? Not entirely the best idea, but most of the time it does no great harm. This is because everything comes in a package and the cover is an essential part of the package. Make sense?

So why the taboo and lecture on "do not judge by cover?" Be practical too.

~ Posted using BlogPress from my iPad ~

From a friend who cares

2011-01-26T20:01:00.001+08:00

I received an email from a friend who truly cares and that email said

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thought I should pass the wise quote along.

~ Posted using BlogPress from my iPad ~

Difference between Complpete and Finished

2010-12-27T18:43:00.001+08:00

People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED....

But there is.

When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE....

And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED!.....

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are...COMPLETELY FINISHED!!!

(shared by a colleague on a stressful Monday)

Blog on the go

2010-12-19T13:52:00.001+08:00

Testing 1...2...3

I always wanted to have a device that let's me read and write on the go. Laptops are heavy and mobile phones are too small, so I got myself an iPad. :)

I think a lot when I travel alone and therefore I have a lot to say while travelling. Now with iPad and blogpress I can blog on the go.

What a convenient way to blabber. Asan such bliss.

And this is my first post via IPad, so testing testing.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wipe your jokes please

2010-10-31T19:46:00.003+08:00

I am a little annoyed right now.

Sometime ago I accepted the 'friend request', in Facebook, of a lady whom I did not know. I only added her because she was from the same hometown as me and had quite a few mutual friends. I thought that there was possibility for us to have bumped into each other or somehow connected. Now I really regret the acceptance.

She said "hi" in FB chat and I responded to her chat. We were in the process of getting to know each other, when I told her that my child was 5 months. She responded to that with "whose baby? your husband's or your lovers?" And I was startled for a moment. As I begun type a harsh reply, she said "Just kidding. Don't get offended ok?". I ignore and continued to type furiously.

Everyone who knows me well is aware that I have very low tolerance for jokes that are insulting, embarrassing, offensive and hurting. No matter how funny they are. I have defined boundaries for jokes and when it crosses the line, I burst into flames. So, I told her very politely that such a joke was unappreciated. It was such a indecent thing to say to a person whom she just met.

This is not a joke. It is lack of decency in conversation. To me, the person lacks communication skills because they do know what to talk to whom.

It was sad indeed. She held the name of one of the greatest ladies in Islam and she speaks so low. Very sad indeed. May Allah guide her.

Signed,

Annoyed and annoyed

Spiked in her smell, smile and stretches

2010-10-19T23:44:00.004+08:00

I went over to my mother’s place today evening. When I entered her room I noticed that the television was switched off. Now that is something unusual in that household. The television in that room (or whichever my mother is in) is mostly on, whether or not anyone is watching it. As soon as my siblings and I started to walk and talk, my mother had to find a companion in the television set. She walks around the house listening to the dialogues of movies, drama serials and anything that is telecasted. And this is how it has been for a couple of decades.

Today, her loyal companion was silent, but the room was filled with noise. She was playing with Zahra and showing her how to beat the new toy drum. Zahra was full of cackles and my mother laughing with a high degree of joy. And, as I stepped into the room my father joins them and makes these funny (never before seen) faces at her. Zahra's cackle tone increases as she throws her arms in joy and *droom* the drums go. Then comes my brother to sit on the bed and squeeze Zahra with his cannot-get-enough-of-her kisses. I take a snap of this and send it to Adil. His chats brightens with such enthusiasm and he cannot wait to see her after work.

I think the best thing I have done for my family (parents and siblings, Adil’s parents and siblings and Adil) is ‘Zahra’.

It has been just 4 months since her arrival and she has enthralled everyone. My daughter, Masha Allah (as Allah has willed), has filled our home with radiance. It is remarkable how she has effortlessly won everyone’s heart. I am bedazzled at the effect she has on people. She has spiked us all with her smell, smile and small stretches.

And, I am in love like never before.

Signed

A truly, madly, deeply in love mother J

Skeptic Creature

2010-10-18T17:46:00.000+08:00

I woke up to the ring of my Blackberry (BB). A call from an old friend, but I did not attend it because I was still half asleep. I did not want to sound like an old male drug addict and scare the person off. I responded with an SMS,

“Hey sorry! I was asleep. You called? Wassup?”

He replied with a, “Nothing, just like that. How are you?”

I stared at my BB, raised my eyebrows and thought, ‘Why would he call for nothing!!?’

I tend to have reservations over people who, after eons, call or message me. My FBI (Faheema Brain Investigates) starts to speculate why the person called or texted me. There has to be a reason right?

Oh! I am quite a skeptic creature; always full of doubts. I am always judging the genuineness in what people say and do. For instance if someone tells me, out of the blue, that they miss me, I will, by inclination, ask “why?”

Yes I know that is not a very pleasant thing to do. But I have a valid reason for this. My parents! I must have picked it up from them. They are strong ambassadors of “everything has a reason and should have a reason”. I guess unconsciously this theory has sunken into me, so I get curious to why someone calls me just to catch up.

The thought of calling/texting someone cannot appear out of the thin air. There has to be a genesis right? I am just a LITTLE bit curious to what initiated the reminder about me. Most of the time I think there is direct or indirect motive and 90% of the time I am not wrong. But of course I should be fair and give attention to the 10%. Sometime people do remember me, miss me and they just want to know how I am doing.

I, hereby, vow to try an tame the skeptic creature in me, so give me a buzz when you are free. We’ll catch up! :)

Homemaker or Unemployed?

2010-10-17T23:04:00.003+08:00

I told my friend, with whom I was catching up with, that I am thinking of being a housewife. He responded with a "Hahahaha. Why?”

Why? What why? What is there to “why” about I being a homemaker? Somehow a lot of my friends cannot digest that I am being serious about being a homemaker. They give me the “Have you brains gone rusted staying home all these months” look. What’s up with that????

Honestly, I am quite indecisive right now. I am trying to figure out where I am. School ended in April. I gave birth in June. I graduated, officially, in July. It is October now. I have attended a couple of interviews and done a lot of other things while being a mother who is madly in love with her baby. I have neatly planned about what I would like to do, with alternatives. But I am not sure if I am an employed fresh graduate or a homemaker who has settled down.

I have ambitious plans about career, but at the same time I am also defining my purpose in life.

As much as I want to be one of the leading lawyers or whatever other career that sets in for me, I also want to be serving my husband and daughter. Somehow I just feel that I will find peace in that than being the workaholic that I have always loved to be.

Signed,

Confused in dilemma

Calling Jihadists! I've got a proposal for you

2010-09-07T01:48:00.003+08:00

The term Jihad, in my opinion, has been loosely translated and greatly misunderstood - by Muslims and non-Muslims. And, I think this misapprehension can be somewhat excused. In today’s confused state, we cannot blame ourselves for falling into the pitfall of politics. Terms ascribed to religious beliefs are manipulated to spur emotions. Sadly, such attempts result in 90% success leaving the world in impairment.

In my view, Jihad has been really skewed. There is a lot to that term and most of it has been conveniently neglected to stress the militant connotations. So, people now mostly identify Jihad with “holy war”. Sad, sad and very sad indeed.

I am not a scholar or a ‘certified’ authority to make corrections to this distorted version of Jihad. It is the efforts to do so that has resulted in the misinterpretation and I wish not to contribute to that. But I wish to share a thought that has been walking around my head for sometime.

From what I know, Jihad, in Arabic, means, “struggle”. And, I guess one does not need to be a brainy to figure out that it simply means ‘struggle for Islam’. In that aspect, I being a Muslim believe in and support Jihad. But why go extremes to struggle for Islam when there are pending matters near us to take care of?

I live in a country, in which, 15% of the population are Muslims. But, the convention centers, airports, shopping malls and other recreational areas do not have facilities to perform daily obligatory prayers (some of them are starting to have these to accommodate to tourist from Middle East. Thank you so much Arab brothers and sisters). As a female, I find it even more inconvenient. And, when there is inconvenience it is difficult to keep it up.

A room that can fit about 3 people is sufficient and not too much to ask for. And, maybe if we try (in peaceful ways of course!), such arrangements can be made. Why not divert the energy of Jihad within us towards such efforts? Yes I am aware that there are generous amounts of Masjids (mosques) in my country and it does not take maximum 10-15 minutes to reach one. But, that is not the gist of my argument here.

Jihad means ‘to struggle for Islam and right now it is more important to pave ways for Muslims to practice Islam by performing basic duties. So here is my proposal for current and future ‘jihadists’. Why not write a letter to whom-it-may-concern requesting assistance to secure a small room in hospitals/airports (for a start) so we can fulfill our obligatory duties. :)

May Allah guide us towards the straight path and bless us in success in our PEACEFUL efforts.

I confess. You are the best

2010-09-03T17:54:00.003+08:00

I sympathize myself not realizing it then. But, I am not surprised that I did not. I never understood the notion of having a best friend. I found it childish to appoint one of my friends as ‘the best’. What exactly is the rationale for doing that anyway? It appeared to be an unnecessary declaration.

But I will confess now. You are a friend I may never come across again and maybe you were indeed my best friend.

You never asked me “what is wrong”. You sensed that I was not fine and distracted me. You knew that my ego would accept no advices, so you indirectly knocked sense into me. You left me in solitude when I needed it and came when I was alone.

You share a lot with me. You liked being with me. I was, most of the time, one of the first thing that came to your mind when something important happened to you. And, I liked being there with you and for you.

All these happened with no obligations that are commonly contained in the invisible pact between “best friends”. And that is why I was very comfortable with you. There were no expectations.

You have effortlessly made me miss you, so you are undeniably the best.

No, Not Funny!

2010-06-06T22:55:00.001+08:00

Call me sensitive, foolishly emotional or any other adjective that fits along those lines. I do not care. I just simply hate it when anyone mock and makes fun of sad scenes in film.

"Cmon! It is just a film and they are just acting", you might say. Yes, thank you very much for telling me what I know, but I still hate it. I consider it lowly when people amuse themselves by making jokes of out a context that portrays misery.

Often I across people, who would imitate, in a comical manner, the way the character in the film cries. And, that just pisses me off. Usually I would grind my teeth and pretend to ignore while I resist my temptation to give them a tight slap that would snap them out of the possession by the devil. What exactly is so amusing about a person suffering – be it real or fiction?

I am not asking them to cry along or feel gloomy watching the sad scene. I just feel that as intellectual beings, we should give respect to the emotion that is being displayed. Is it not heartless to entertain oneself over the pain of another? It really is crude to laugh when there is sadness filled throughout the screen in front of you.

No, I will not take a chill pill because there is nothing to chill about this. It really is IRRITATING. And I just had to tell everyone how much I hate it. So, watch out or else I could really give that slap. *smiles*

Mirror Mirror On the Wall

2010-05-26T00:32:00.001+08:00

Never had I hated the mirror so much in my life. The urge to shatter it with the perfume bottle in front of me gets stronger each time my reflection appears.

What is this thing I see? Is it I? What have I become? Even the term ‘ugly’ will not do justice to the description my image.

It would be nice if the mirror, too, lied like everyone around me. If not for the mirror I would trapped happily in the myth of how pregnancy makes a woman glow in beauty. I hate the mirror for being so honest. It is doing me no good and I feel miserable. Boo Hoo!

Not only am I bigger in size, but also full of pokka dots all over my body. I had to be one of those lucky crazy hormones that produce pimples all over the body during pregnancy. And, those nasty things did not leave silently. They left spots of scars! My cheeks, which were pampered in MAC mineral blush, are now full of pimple scars!

I am depressed . I feel big, fat, ugly and miserable! So, I am whining about it to clear it out of my system.Boo Hoo!

Signed

A depressed pregnant lady who does not want to hear advises and sweetened words such as “don’t worry it will be ok after delivery”

The Telepathic Ants

2010-04-05T00:02:00.003+08:00

I present to you a special episode of “My Mother's Beliefs Amuse Me” series.

Myself:

There were patches of ants in my house today. There were crawling from the doorway to the dinning area. I had no idea where those came from. We were rushing off, so I could not do anything about it. When we returned, the ants were gone. Just like that!

Anyway, I mopped those areas slightly. I will bring the maid tomorrow and get the whole house mopped to check if something is spilled of dead.

Mother:

Is it black ants?

Myself:

Yes. Small tiny black ants

Mother:

Maybe it is the ‘baby’ ants

Myself:

What are ‘baby’ ants? How do you know if they are baby???

Mother:

When the maid was cleaning your house in India, she saw patches of these ants. We went to investigate and then she told us that those ants only infest if the owner of the house is pregnant. It will go away when the baby is born, so it is bad to wash (kill) them.

Myself (giving my mother the “wadde!” look):

So, you did not wash those ants away? You leave the house to be infested with ants?!

Mother:

Yes. It will go away when you deliver, so nothing to worry.

Myself (in my ‘OMG I cannot believe this’ high pitch tone):

Umma! Are you telling me that a colony of ants in the Southern part of India know that I am pregnant? And, they decided to stay till I delivery my baby?!

Mother:

Yes. You will not understand. Just listen to elders and be quiet.

Myself (speechless):

!!!???

My Sister (in giggles):

We can save on phone calls to India when you deliver then. Once the ants disappear they will know!

The Mother of a Mom-to-be

2010-04-01T12:48:00.002+08:00

I am a modern rebellious daughter who always argues with my mother. When she finally gives up, she puts an end to the ‘discussion’ by saying “You do not know enough to understand. I am your mother, so you listen to me. PERIOD.” So, you can imagine the concentration of tension between us. It is a love-hate long-term relationship; nature’s complicated blessing.

About two weeks ago, my mother had to make a trip to India urgently. I sensed in her a strong reluctance to leave. Generally, my parents never left us, girls, alone. Either of them had always been with us. If there was a situation in which they both had to go somewhere, then we will be India with my mother’s mother or elder sister. This time it was different. The trip to India was unavoidable and my mother was unhappy about leaving her elder daughter who is undergoing her first pregnancy.

Well it was not as if she was leaving me alone. I had my husband and siblings with me along with a maid. Also, I had cousins, relatives and friends within reaching distance. But my mother was not comfortable. She was worried.

She has always been worried. Ever since I told her I am pregnant, she has gone into a marathon of worries. And, she thinks she does a good job in hiding it. (Haha). In fact, worry is an understatement. She has become paranoid.

She watches me and tries to make out how I am doing. She observes my facial expressions, the posture of my body, my sleeping and eating habits and the way I behave to make sure I am fine. The minute I place my palm on my tummy she asks “Enna?” (‘What’ in Tamil). And, the ‘what’ is filled with so much worry.

Once I told her that my tummy or side abdomen hurts. I am not sure how she understood it. (Honestly is it difficult to differentiate tummy and abdomen in Tamil!!) She went sleepless for those nights. She called grandmother for remedy and the next two days I was drinking some herbal drink. If I was not so busy with schoolwork, she will check on me every hour. (Haha)

Yesterday, I vomited on the way to school. I wanted to call my mother immediately and tell her, but I avoided it. I knew that she will not be able to concentrate on anything until I get home. I told her after I reached home. And, she has been worried since today morning. In the last 4 hours she checked on me twice; once about the nausea and another about baby movements.

Once, I overheard her telling grandmother that she feels as if she is pregnant. She gets so stressed and worried. In fact these days, she does not say "I am your mother, so you listen to me", because she needs to make a call to India before she says anything like that. Can you believe that this woman mothered three children??? (Haha)

And that, my friends, is just a snap shot of the mother of a mom-to-be. One blog entry can neither elaborate her care and affection nor my grateful respect and love for her.

Alhamdulillah (Praises to Allah)

The heart and mind

2010-03-30T15:32:00.004+08:00

(Skype conversation with a good friend)

Friend says:

Follow your heart

Faheema says:

But my heart is nowhere. My mind is everywhere :)

...

Faheema says:

What is the difference between the heart and mind anyway?

Friend says:

one is foolish, the other is supposed to be less foolish

Persepolis

2010-03-08T19:30:00.003+08:00

Today in Global Social Challenges class, we watched the film 'Persepolis'. It was an interesting and enlightening movie. I am not penning down my thoughts of this film. I just wanted quote some dialogues which I found amusing. These, which do are not regarding the main issue of the film, made the political movie rather entertaining. And, I just thought I would share.

"You'll meet a lot of jerks in life. If they hurt you, it is because they are stupid" ~ Satrapi's Grandmother

"It is easy to share love 3 hours a week. But when you are in the same home ..." ~ Satrapi

"The first marriage is a practice for the second" ~ Satrapi's Grandmother

Beep! Beep! You're received a ...

2010-02-25T17:30:00.009+08:00

The day started with my phone going ‘beep beep’ continuously. I had received several SMS messages about the Halal certificate of a well-known restaurant being revoked. One of these message read, " XXXXX’s Halal certification has been revoked. It was found that they used pork instead of chicken ham. Pls fwd this message to all muslims brothers and sisters.”

“Nothing travels faster than light, with possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules”.
~ Douglas Adams ~

False Alert!

Yes, the SMS messages were medium of rumour. The information that was being spread was false. And how do I know that? Well, a simple email to MUIS (Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura), the Islamic Religious Council of Singapore, was all it took to verify the truth. And, the time taken to compose and send this email was almost equivalent to mass forwarding the SMS to all Muslims in my contact list.

According to Mr. Mohd Ariff Salleh, Senior Executive of Halal Certification Strategic Unit, MUIS

"The Halal certificate expired on 31 Jan 2010 and the Halal certificates issued have to be returned upon expiry as in accordance with our terms & conditions. The email which has been circulating that their certificate has been withdrawn is not correct. The renewal application was submitted two days before expiry. In actual fact, the renewal should be submitted 2 months before expiry as the renewal notification was sent 2 months ago.

Nevertheless, the renewal application was approved on 24 Feb 2010."

The Ignored Repercussions

I definitely appreciate the good intentions of these information forwarders. They care about their community and they wish to do their part in preventing the Muslim consumers from being cheated by profit-minded business organizations. I certainly disapprove and stand against manipulative business organizations that exploit religious beliefs

But, the eagerness to do prevent harm should not blind our rationality. Upon receiving such a message, we should first think about its validity. I presume everyone who received the message would have thought, “Is this news true?” But, how many of us make an attempt to get an answer? How many of us think about the importance of knowing the truth?

In trying to help the Muslims consumers, we’ve forgotten about the Muslims workers in that organization. I think I need not emphasize the impact, of such messages, on the wages of these employees.

Some Gentle Reminders

To advise anyone on this issue is unnecessary. I am not going to say, “do not help spread rumours”, because that would actually be an insult. Instead let me remind you that helps a lot if you verify what you hear, stop the rumours and spread the truth. And, if you not time to do that, then I suggest you don’t sacrifice your time to spread the unverified information.

And for specially for my Muslims readers:
It is well known that verifying news is something of high importance according to Shari`ah

Allah Almighty says,
"O ye who believe! If an evil person brings you tidings, verify it, lest ye smite some folk in ignorance and afterward repent of what ye did"

~ (Al-Hujurat 49: 6)~

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon on him) said, 'The most evil among Allah's servants are those who go about spreading gossip dividing those who love each other and desiring to defame those who are innocent.'

~ (Reported by Ahmad) ~

Source:
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaEAskTheScholar&cid=1119503543136

Totally Irresponsible!

2009-10-12T22:50:00.006+08:00

My friend said "Relax Faheema. Don't loose cool. Breathe in and breathe out slowly 10 times. Good Nite" and logged out of her Windows Live Messenger. Then I diligently followed her instruction - breathed in and out slowly 10 times. My mind was back to its calm state.

Half an hour ago, I was fuming in anger over a trivial issue. A trivial but extremely annoying issue - irresponsible team members. Being the very sensitive person I am, it irritates me to work with these persons who are negligent about their due diligence in a team work. Here are my allegations :

Late or no response to emails
Trust me. I really do not have time to send my team members (with whom I do not share a bond of friendship) unimportant / junk emails. Every email addressed to them requires attention and acknowledgement. If I send an email calling for discussion on meetings, task allocation or deadlines, I expect a response! How should I interpret no replies? I am not and need not be concerned with reasons that justify the "no response". My email that relates to OUR teamwork requires a reply and you as a team member are obliged to answer it in due time. No matter how busy you are.

Wasting my time
When we schedule a meeting, I presume we do so that we discuss the project. I believe that is the purpose of that meeting. It, therefore, does not seem right to attend the meeting with no preparation. The LEAST a team member can do is read the question assigned! I do not appreciate that you are wasting my precious time that was specifically allocated to discuss answers.

Untackful lies
I have enough experience to judge the behaviour of a team member. If you are going to lie about not being able to attend meeting or meeting deadlines, do so tactfully! I am not encouraging you to be dishonest, but at certain times you simply cannot help but miss a meeting or face with situations in which you are unable to meet an internal deadline. I face such problems too. You know what is the wise thing to do here? Inform the team, or at least one of them, as soon as possible. In providing a valid reason in advanced, you help the team members to cover up for you with less inconvenience. Otherwise you are merely being a pain!

The list could go on, but I think it is unnecessary for me to proceed further. My main allegations are clear and loud enough. I simply cannot tolerate the irresponsibility that exists among some of my team memebers. And, it saddens me sometimes to realize how smart some of these irresponsible people are.

I believe that intelligence will not shine when irresponsibility is shading it.

It’s about, ‘What is Right’

2009-09-14T01:27:00.001+08:00

One of the most challenging things in any relationship is arguments. We always find ourselves in anger or frustration when we try to sort out differences and disagreements.

“Just as communication is the most important element in a relationship, arguments can be the most destructive element”- John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venues)

I popularly have known to be argumentative among my loved ones; husband, mother and the few good friends. I generally argue about anything and everything because I am full of my own opinions. When a subject matter is brought to my attention, my mind processes it and draws up conclusions within a few minutes. Just like that. And, to me, my supposedly well-thought through opinions are correct. It is my delusion that I cannot be wrong.

Hence, when someone gives an opposing view, my instant reaction is to argue. It may appear as if I aim to prove them wrong, but that is not my intent. What I actually am doing is denying the possibility that my ‘absolute accurate’ opinions need to be reviewed. So, in order to make my stand very clear my ego churns out arguments. And, I must say, my brain does an excellent job in helping the ego.

My brain caught up in constructing arguments forgets a very important advice that is mostly ignored.

“It’s not about ‘Who is Right?’ it is about ‘What is Right?’”

As I reflect on some of the very heated arguments that I have had recently, I realized something. My counterpart and I are mostly arguing about who is right. That does not sound very wise huh? There really is no logic in trying to determining which the correct opinion is? That will hardly get us anywhere. The rational approach would be to put aside the difference in thoughts and look into what would be the best conclusion for the subject matter at hand.

Well of course, it would take the co-operation of both parties to achieve that sort of thing. I guess when a friendly conversation gets heated with spices of frustration, it would help to take a few moments of break. Think about the basis of the conversation – it helps to ask these questions.

What are you discussing about?

Why are you discussing it?

What is the necessity of this discussion?

What really is your opinion (trust me, most of the time we have no clue about our own views)?

What is the other person saying (you know, sometimes the other person could be saying the very same thing!)?

And, when you are done answering these you will be somewhat close to the big question “What is Right?”

Would you like to argue with me on this? *winks*

Time for Forceful Actions?

2009-08-26T13:35:00.006+08:00

It is two weeks since school has begun and a few days since the start of Ramadan (the ninth month in the Islamic Calendar during which Muslims fast from dawn to dusk). I am busy preparing for classes, fasting, preparing food for iftar (breaking the fast when sun sets) and keeping the house clean. Hence, my routine has changed completely.

I am awake throughout the night. I sleep at 2am, 3am or sometimes 6am (after Fajr). And, if there is class I wake up around 10am. I sit through my class like a zombie. Then, I return home at 5pm to sleep until iftar. This is unacceptable!

Last night I slept somewhere between 10.30 to 11pm. I woke up several times in between with interruptions. Then I read my notes or my book. I went back to sleep and woke at 11.30am! I am sure that i had slept more than the required hours. This is really unacceptable.

During my holidays, I had conditioned myself to appropriate sleeping hours. I slept 11am and woke up 7am to make breakfast for Adil. Now, everything is upside down. I have transormed into an owl.

Technically speaking, I have no reason to complain. I prepare for my classes (although, I could put in more efforts) and I do my house chores. My sleeping hours are definitely not affecting my ability to perform basic chores. Yet, why do I feel I should do something about my 'unacceptable' sleeping hours?

Pages and pages of Pain

2009-06-02T02:08:00.003+08:00

I've never really found it hard to handle a novel. It is true that I am a very sensitive person, but usually I can get through the sad scenes quickly. Yes I do shed some tears, but as I flip through the pages everything will dry up.

That is not how it is with "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini.

Initially, I thought that the book was better the "The Kite Runner" by Hosseini. I could somewhat relate to the story since the protagonists are 1. female & 2. muslims.

Now, I just hate the book. The pages are filled with so much pain and at each page I get choked with some kind of discomfort. I cannot move on because I fear what else would come.

And, I am still not finished with it......

Yesterday was 21st of July

2008-07-22T17:05:00.001+08:00

I really enjoyed the 21st of July when I was in St.Anthony’s Convent (my secondary school / high school). My friends and I always looked forward for that date because we get to flaunt our hidden (or forgotten) traditional faces. 21st July, was Racial Harmony day in Singapore.

The Unity of Diversity

Racial Harmony Day is celebrated annually, by school children, to commemorate the communal riots that occurred in 1964. The Ministry of Education first launched it in 1997 as part of its National Education programme. And, on that day children are encouraged to dress in their traditional clothing.

I would say that Racial Harmony Day is the most meaningful celebration in Singapore, because it reminds us of the most valuable asset we’ve got. It shows a glimpse of the past where different people merged as one nation. That is definitely extraordinary and I think we should be louder and wider in our celebrations. Racial Harmony Day should step out of the school compound and enter the corporate world. Just for a day, I would like to see the road filled with people rushing to work wearing Cheongsam , Punjabi suits and Baju Kurong. 

Although Racial Harmony Day began with the objective of displaying our unity, I think, it actually reminds us about our diversity. For most of us, it is the day we remember our forgotten background. Therefore, it is a pity that we are not doing much about it.

Back in St.Anthony’s:

The week before Racial Harmony day, all the cultural groups get busy planning to set up booths where they display traditional items such as food and games. And, the day before we get busy planning what to wear! Most of us like cross-dressing, so my Chinese friend dresses up in my Indian clothes and I would dress up in some Chinese clothes. Being a vibrant girls’ school, we did not stop there. We adorned traditional accessories to give the day a sparkle.

The morning of the day was messy, noisy and filled with enthusiasm. We all came early (even though classes started late). We began dressing each other up and I was very busy. I went to almost every classroom to tie Sarees (not that I was good, but I guess I was one of the few who knew how to), while my friends surrounded me asking 101 questions about Sarees. And, you see, we were having fun learning about cultural differences.

The day went on with a lot more learning and fun. I made sure I visited all the booths and tasted every food item I was allowed to. And, my close friends and I went out to the mall (yes wearing our ethnic dresses) to have ice cream at McDonald’s in Bedok Interchange.

So, there you go, a snapshot of Racial Harmony Day in Singapore; the way it should be.

Note to self: Look for photographs of celebrations in St.Anthony's.

The 'Last' Lecture

2008-07-13T23:31:00.001+08:00

Bye Bye 2pm

2008-06-27T15:22:00.001+08:00

[PV] just left; wearing his shades and carrying his bags. Today was his last day in [Greenland]. He has decided to move on to something else; something better I suppose. I had always thought that [Greenland] was not a place for a person like him.

I helped to take pictures of himself in his room and felt that the office looked rather different today. It appeared ...empty; as if its soul got sucked out. The white board was quote-free and his billboard was desire-free. He took down the cut outs of the US dollar and the car with keys. I guess that was my last view of the room since there are will be no more 2pm visits.

I am really going to miss my 2pm meetings. It was the only thing to look forward to in [Greenland] apart from lunch with [GT]. It was full of l intellectual conversations that never failed to provoke my thoughts. There were opinions, comments, very mild debates, humour and always something to learn. Every time I stepped out of that room, I walked out knowing something new. And, I am very grateful for that.

[PV] was never supervisor or a boss. He had always been a mentor; a trusted guide, teacher... friend. All he does is talk and make you think. And, trust me, it is sufficient.

Apart from that, he is an enthusiastic gentleman who loves his family a lot. I am a fan of his daughter, whom I have never met. He has a blog dedicated to her growing years and it is the sweetest thing I have seen in recent days. The last thing I told him was ‘Please update your blog’. (I hope he does).

Well, that is all. I just felt I should pen some thoughts about a good person I met.

Show off ze Curve

2008-06-24T10:34:00.004+08:00

The aroma from my hot cup of Bru (Indian brand coffee) tells, “A new day of life awaits your arrival”. It sets the tone for my mood. I cut my favourite fruits into small cubes, while mother packs lunch for Adil and me. Feeling fresh, I get dressed up to look as pretty as possible. After the goodbyes, I head to the bus stop. Excitement begins anticipating and makes life much thrilling. But, the enthusiasm does not last long. One glimpse of the bus stop is good enough to start the fading process. The minute I board the bus, I feel like a cartoon whose colours have been drained away. I stand among a bunch of people who emit gallons of grouchiness.

I understand. It is frustrating to drag ourselves to work. We leave behind our peaceful mind and rush to spend the rest of the day in front of a laptop screen. We wish we could extend the sleep till the sun sits on its throne. And, it’s even worse for the mothers who have to get the children to school and the fathers who have to get ready in the midst of the chaos at home. I understand. And, it does not end there. The irritation continues when we have to squeeze ourselves in the bus among others who share the same pain.

I cannot spell out a solution to mend the morning mess (if that is how it appears to be). Actually, the solution could be right in front of you, waiting for you to embrace it. But I have a suggestion; a fairly simple one that could help. Try it. It could make the morning a little better.

Smile.

And for those who have forgotten,

Smile is "a facial expression in which the eyes brighten and the corners of the mouth curve slightly upward and which expresses especially amusement, pleasure, approval…” ~ Merriam Webster Online Dictionary

An upward curve on your face has the power of making the day beautiful. It’s called the halo effect. When you smile at someone, they smile back (trust me, it is hard not to smile back). The smile spreads waves of pleasure that changes the ambience and you feel better; much better.

Of course, I do not ask you fix a smile on your face like a lunatic. Smile at those you make eye contact with. For instance, when you board the bus, smile at the bus driver. When you look for seats, smile at those you see. Smile at the security guard at your office entrance. Smile at your colleagues. It brightens the morning for everyone.

For a start, stop those ‘hssting’ and heavy ‘sighs’, when someone has to squeeze to alight from the MRT or bus. Practical thinking will tell you that the bus is narrow enough and nothing can be done about the squeeze. Quit wishing that the government could do something about the width of the bus. Be smart and smile instead. Say ‘excuse me’ with a smile because the smile has effect on the tone of your voice. And, practice your manners by saying ‘thank you’ when someone excuses you. When you speak politely people respond with politeness.

It really does not take much effort. Give it a try. A piece of advice: Do not smile with the condition that others MUST smile at you. It does not work that way. You have to smile for your sake and not for others. Remember the ‘Invisible Hand’ theory?

Fill my Glass

2008-06-17T15:23:00.005+08:00

The glass looks half-filled to me. It has always seemed so. Honestly I did not think it was half-empty until I heard from others. Nevertheless it looks half-filled to me.

The ride home yesterday was rather disturbing. My mind was trying to process the conversation with [PV]. And, I think I might have discovered something about myself; something I cannot accept.

I might be or most probably is a PESSIMIST. I had such a hard time digesting that term, so I went home and searched for clues.

“Pessimism, from the Latin pessimus (worst), is the decision to evaluate, perceive and view life in a generally negative light.” – Wikipedia

I resist accepting this. I certainly do not think I am all about negativity. I am a very fun, jovial person who loves living. You know what, let’s put the ‘loves living’ on hold. I am a little indecisive about that. Anyway, like I said, I am not a negative person! Maybe... I am just a little ....paranoid? *frown*

Yes, I worry about bad things that MAY occur. Many times I am in a heated debate with someone about the negative possibilities. In fact I get annoyed when people fail to think about the negative outcomes of events. It certainly seems like I evaluate, perceive and view life in a negative light. So...I am a pessimist? …*juts lower lip and rolls eyes 270 degrees*

During the conversation with [PV], I mentioned how I felt that the world is becoming a very unsafe place to live in. And, [PV] was rather shocked (or he seemed so). He is a very… (what can I say) optimistic person. His outlook of life always conflicts with mine.

Actually, I always felt that guessing the negative outcomes would help to eliminate them. Simply because, when we realize the possibility of something bad, we will act to prevent it. And, that is good. Right? So, I am a pessimist and so what about it?

But, [PV] says ‘focus your energy on the positive’.

Why…? And how…?

Maybe I should step out to find some answers… and fill my glass. And, you should too if you feel your glass is half-empty.

Screw de Fools!

2008-06-14T18:43:00.003+08:00

I do not often express my rage here. I try not to, but if the blog is a better space to rant then why not?

Also, I rarely burst with vulgarities. But in moments like these where I must erupt, please pardon me, I will.

I am pissed off with a bunch of morons who really f*** the peace around me. They just ANNOY me to the point where I could stab a knife through their brain. Their attitude disgusts me. And, I just wish I could make these educated fools vanish.

What can I do about it? NOTHING.... I could scream at them and walk away with a bad name. Or, I could keep out of their face and throw them out of my mind... and my life. I wish!

They just f***ing annoy me SO MUCH! Like I wish they would like SHUDDUP.

Arrrgh... FORGET IT.... Continuing is not going to make them any intelligent. They will be fools forever..... I'm just going to keep silent and let the fools walk as fools. Meanwhile... I will be silent, patient and hope they sink to the bottom

P.S: Dun judge me now...

Blabbering from ******

2008-06-11T17:15:00.000+08:00

Again, this is not an appropriate time to pen my thoughts, but I simply could not help myself. For a person who often preaches about sincerity in work, I am breaching some of my own rules. Then again, like I said, I simply cannot help myself now. My mind is squeezed with thoughts that challenge my diligence. Basically, I am coming to say that I NEED TO BLABBER. So, here goes...oh and All the Best.

Rarely in our lives, very rarely, we come across ‘stuff’ that appears to be ALMOST perfect. But, we never get to dig deep. Before we could, they disappear. The old sayings about how good ‘stuff’ is short lived appear to be true; most of the times. The good ‘stuff’ is not here to stay; nope...not at all.

The impact these good ‘stuff’ leave upon us is unfathomable. It has an enigmatic nature that can only be deciphered by mind-reading. Well, you do not know anyone who can do so... do you? Likewise here... *sigh*

Maybe pre-destiny would have an answer. “Why don’t these ‘perfect stuff’ last long?” Well, because it has not been destined so. That surely was simple *rolls eyes*. Pre-determination definitely saves the hassle of mapping clues (if they are at all clues). I shan’t touch further on this issue... *smirk*

Anyway, the ‘perfect stuff’ is not here to stay and therefore it must exit and it will. We will not do anything about it because we should not. Yet, we wish we could do something about it. And, all this leaves us with a very indecisive mind that is stubborn. It will not accept any logical explanations; nope...it won’t.

During such times, we tend to hope for some miracle; something external that could change the situation. And, we will keep wishing until we realize the amount of time we have wasted. It is called illusion. We imagine about the possibilities of making the ‘stuff’ stay. And, we will keep imagining until the illusion sinks to the bottom of our memory.

Well, it is not worth waiting for the miracle. Neither am I going to do anything about it. It was good to have come across the ALMOST perfect stuff. That is good enough.

~’END’~

Fluttery butterflies......

2008-06-06T14:07:00.000+08:00

This is obviously not a time to blog, but I simply could not help it. Sitting at my desk and waiting to be called into a meeting room, I am in an URGENTLY NEED BLABBER OUT emergency.

It is not my first time presenting, of course. I have done numerous public speaking. However this is the first time I would be presenting a proposal to a management of a MNC. Nervous, is in fact, an understatement. I AM FREAKING OUT HERE! As much as I desire to grab the opportunity that lies before me, I would truly prefer not to go through this now. Honestly, I am perfectly fine not presenting the work that took some of my weekends and nights. Trust me! I have no complains.

GT is here! Finally, I can ease my nervousness.

It has been 44 minutes since I sat down and yup yup I AM STILL HERE. *wide smile*

[Oh the time has come! Later]

I am back after a good lunch. The morning was... what can I say? EXCELLENT! The presentation went well. My supervisor said I did it well and the big boss said it was Brilliant. I do not wish give more details, but it was just great. Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah).

After the meeting, my supervisor and I had a good chit chat. He treated me to a hot chocolate drink for my good work done and once again his sharing session taught me new things about life. He is a very nice person to sit and have a good intellectual conversation with.

And, I have another good news... GT is working with me on the project! He would be doing the prototype of my proposal. I am so glad I got him into this. He has already started working on it.

As of now... LIFE IS WONDERFUL....

And, I love Adil for being such a great support

Oh, the butterflies flew away

Serenity....

2008-06-03T08:33:00.002+08:00

This is one of the rare moments when I get the house to myself. Yes, I am home alone (finally). Well, I am not feeling well, so I did not report for work. I suppose I am exhausted. I burned myself on Sunday night and went to work yesterday after a short nap (0.5 hours). Anyway let me not digress. I am here to talk about the peacefulness in the silence around me...

It feels as if it has long time since I experienced serenity. I am all alone and I have the whole space to myself. This house, which I see every day, seems some sort different now. It is interesting how serenity changes the atmosphere of a place which I am most familiar.

When anyone of my family members is at home with me, the house looks... (what can i say)...OCCUPIED. Usually mom is in the house and when we are not in any kind of conversation (that means we are busy with our own business); her actions send some of sort of signals across the rooms. Her footsteps and the noise made by the pots, her sewing machine or the TV in her room would fill the atmosphere. But now, the sound of the running water in the fish tank, the tyres of the SBS bus outside and my keyboard creates an entirely different ambience.

[ I had a lot to say…. but for now my serenity has been disturbed by some unpleasant matters…. Will be back when I regain my calm]

Hazy Days

2008-05-27T22:27:00.001+08:00

This is one of those entries where I blabber from some moving vehicle. I am right now in 969 SMRT bus; returning home from work.

My trip to and fro work has been a real hassle. I have to leave my house early in the morning (7am!) to catch a feeder bus to interchange. Then I wait long for 969 and alight at Yishun stadium. If the bus is packed, I have to stand for 40 minutes till I reach my destination. Finally I wait for 857 or 854 to bring me to my workplace in Ang Mo Kio. If all this happens with no delays, I would reach my office on time else I would be at least 10-15 minutes late. I had thought this is the easiest route to work. Apparently there is another route in which I take 39 from a bus stop near my house, alight at some Seletar camp (God knows which jungle that is in) and take 86 to my workplace which is in another jungle. Tonight I shall make some research on the new route and take the risk tomorrow morning. The 3-bus route seems ridiculous when the exit to expressway is just one turn from my house area.

Oh, by the way do not take the term 'jungle' seriously (keep in mind that I blog from a fascinating island aka Singapore). Yishun area just reminds me of jungle. It is full of trees, dense and most of the area that I see from my bus has a red coloured 'Protected Area' sign. Initially I felt very uncomfortable. I have always been scared of these quiet, dense and dark places. I am in good progress of getting use to it. Actually the 'jungle' appears very beautiful in the evening when the sun sets. I have reached Tampines, so that ends the talk of Yishun. I'll continue at home after I have finished cleaning up and preparing my room from Adil's arrival. Handsome is in his SQ flight to Singapore now. J

I am back home. The room looks...what can i say... AWESOME. Adil has touched down *smiles*, so let me end this unfinished business with an incident.

The queue for my feeder bus (291) in Tampines Interchange was long, so I decided to take another bus which was pretty crowded. A very elderly woman boarded the bus. I would expect those seated on the front seats (which are meant for elderly persons, pregnant ladies etc) to get up immediately and offer the seat. However it took sometime before a lady offered the seat. I cannot fathom the reason for the delay. She was a elderly lady who looked like she had weak bones. Does it need to get any more obvious?

That not being enough, a lady carrying a child came in and this type i got really pissed off. None of them sitting in front offered her a seat. Of course I gave up my seat, but I would have preferred someone in the front seat to have done so. I was sitting at a raised level and it would be inconvenient for someone with a child in their lap. Nonetheless, since we were surrounded by inconsiderate young people, I offered my seat. She said loudly 'Thank you for being so considerate'. Later, when she got down the bus, she tapped me gently and said 'Thanks alot.'

Well that was the reality of courtesy in Singapore....

Fade my Fears.... Fade

2008-05-22T20:56:00.005+08:00

"The only thing we have to fear is fear it'self - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." --- FDR - First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933

[Her lips trembled as if it had a lot to say, but no words came. The thoughts traveled down to her throat and choked her. And so, she let her tears explain.............]

I wished they could open my mind and know for themselves what is wrong. They speak without understanding. Here I am shouting at the top of my lungs about my problem and there they are telling me general facts about life. At the end of the day I am left with a label that spells ‘helpless’.

All I feel is the pressure at the bottom of my mind. I cannot find the words to describe the issue but I hope I can give an early warning of its eruption.

I would love to cure my fear...fears. I want to. I try to. I really do, but nothing has changed. I am not sure when or if it would. But I really want to and I really am trying. That is nothing more I can say to assure and emphasize that I still am fighting the battle within me.

Fear, I realize, is an emotion that is not easily understood. They always wondered why I fear so many things. They just do not get it and I am certain they would not. Not until they go to the extent of viewing it from my point. Only then will they know that it is a fear. It is nameless, it is unreasoned and it maybe unjustified, but it is a terror that is paralyzing me. And, yes I need help; lots of it.

[She continues to stand there...tearing away, waiting in hope for a sign that offers not a solution but a soft support...]

The New Look

2008-05-12T20:39:00.003+08:00

I'm back with a new look for the blog. Actually I had wanted to design something using brown and turquoise. I could match both the colours well, but the output was not satisfying. I love design. It's so... what can I say... ME! I suppose those who know me well will understand the black background and the hot pink that stands out. As for the rest, I leave you to imagine.

The picture in the header is a female art piece made of wire. *Haha*. Yeah, just nice for She's All Wired Up. I took this photo in Esplanade sometime back. There was a display of figures made from wire or copper and this one caught my immediate attention. Power of Feminism with a pinch of elegance and innocence, I thought. Something close to me.

I love changes. Somehow, it makes me feel more excited about life.

Oh well, nothing much to talk about I suppose. My summer has been nice. Nothing very interesting to mention about. I have been successfully keeping myself busy with things. I did have my 'slack' time, so I am a little refreshed.

I am start my internship tomorrow. *Smiles*. I'll be working with GT so I am really looking forward to it. I know its like so hard to believe. Destiny has it all planned.

Adil is out for dinner with some VIP from Dubai, so he is not home yet. I had a interesting dinner today. I made Toufu soup. *Haha*. It actually tasted nice. Recently I am into healthy eating, so I hope it goes well.

You know, I really do not have anything to talk about, so I shall end it here.

Iron Man ........ 7.5 / 10

2008-05-04T14:48:00.005+08:00

After a very long time, I went for a movie on Saturday. There were not much options for an early night movie, so Adil and I watched Iron Man. Here's my review:

The movie was completely entertaining. There was no scene which I thought was unnecessary. It could be because of the effort to squeeze in as much content (of the comic) as possible. If so, I would say it was smartly handled. The scenes flowed smoothly with no room for questions.

Robert Downey Jr., was an excellent choice for Iron Man. I do not recall how many of his movies I have seen, but after this he is in my favourites. His look, style and expressions were all admirable. Actually I liked him more as Tony Stark than Iron Man. :)

I felt that Gwyneth Paltrow was kind of underused. Her role did not exactly fulfill that of a heroine. Apart from being the superhero's love, secretary and sometimes 'technician'. Overall I was not very impressed with Pepper Potts. Maybe she may play a more deeper role in Iron Man 2? :)

The villain was one other thing which I was not very happy about. I am not sure if Jeff Bridges was a good choice. Somehow he did not fit the role of the Obadiah Stane. His features could not carry the manipulative betraying nice guy.

Terrence Howard was cool, as always. He played his part well and definitely a boost to the story.

The special effects was satisfactory. I really loved the explosions. It was a stunning sight. The robots in Stark's lab was cute. Haha, especially the fire extinguisher.

The comedy was not so bad. Well, I was not exactly laughing throughout the movie, but for a superhero movie the comedy was to be appreciated. Most of it circled around Tony Stark and the way Downey carried it out was adorable.

The sad part was that, this movie did not have the romance I expected. I suppose there was no room for it. I would have loved for Potts and Tony to kiss. C'mon JUST ONE KISS!!!!

So, I rate the movie 7.5/10 (the 0.5 was gone because there was no kiss!)

Read, Run, Respect .... (50th Blog Post!)

2008-04-27T21:47:00.007+08:00

I am proud to announce that this my 50th blog post *claps*.

Thank you, Thank you. I thank all my readers for being such encouragement. I would like to personally thank Mohamed Yousuf Adil, the love of my life, for being such moral support. *Hugs*. (Haha). Okay! That is a little dramatic, but I am really glad that I could keep it going till today. I must really thank my loyal readers (you know who you are). Your smiles, frowns, praises and disagreements have made me reflect on what I have written. Thanks thanks and many thanks! Being the 50th post, this entry has to be not only interesting but really meaningful. Listen up! Here are the keys to life...

Some time back, maybe around 2 years ago, I was watching Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice award. Will Smith got his award for i-don't-remember and said "The key to life is running and reading"And so, I slightly improved Smith's keys to life by adding a third R; respect.

PLEASE READ....

Knowledge is power. And reading is the key to knowledge. With history repeating itself, reading is one wise way to understand and solve issues around us.

Many successful people have written books. Their biographies will show that their problems are no different from ours. And, many like John Gray, have attempted to explain the differences between men and women. Reading these helps us understand each other a little better. Even Harry Potter is worth the reading. Apart from the leisure, it instills in us a sense of determination, friendship etc etc.

It all depends on the reader. Reading does not answer the questions in our life, but it simulates and guides our thinking. Of course, reading alone is not enough. We should reflect what we read. It iss called processing the information we gained to create knowledge.

KEEP RUNNING, KEEP KEEP RUNNING,

Many times in life, we just feel like giving up. We wish everything would stop and we could just sleep away forever. We want the problems to not fade but come to a complete stop. The key to life is to keep running. Run till we meet death. No matter what, we should never stop running.

Then again, running towards a unknown destination is pointless. Running with no aim or goal is worthless (unless, of course, you like mystery and risks). Therefore, it is good to have not one goal in life but many. We should aim to achieve something at every stage of our life. Plan to how to get there and keep running. Never stop for anything or anyone.

GIVE RESPECT, TAKE RESPECT

We live in a world made of different species. As I went through my Ethics course the past semester, I began to realize that one thing could make us appreciate the differences among us. And, that is respect. We are all different in many aspects of life, but that does not make us worth any higher or lower. Everyone deserves their due respect. Should we adjust our level of respect between the dean of the school and the cleaner? The priority we give could vary, but the respect should not.

When we begin to respect everyone and everything around us, we tend to take care of our behavior towards them. For instance, when you respect the cleaner lady, you would watch you litter. When you respect your government, you would make efforts to understand their decisions. And, when you respect the rights of the animals around you, you would take care of the environment.

When you begin to respect everyone equally, just like how you want them to respect you, your actions and decision naturally take form to compliment that. Most of all, when you respect others, they respect you.

READ, RUN, RESPECT

I have always emphasized on we being intellectual beings. We are different from the environment we live in. We have the ability to think and behave the way we want. The keys to life will ensure we do so in a rightful manner. :)

Summer sun, something's begun...

2008-04-21T11:27:00.001+08:00

School's out summers in. J

Finally the much awaited time has arrived. The semester is over and we are all indulged in our summer activities. I completed my last exam on Wednesday and started my summer ride; silently, smoothly, slowly.

I've been doing lots of cleaning and I am still not done with it. I decided to clean inside out, so I am doing section by section. I started with the bed area, then the wardrobe, then TV area and now I am in my study table. I emptied the drawers and rearrange everything. Today, I will have to file up all the paper documents (bills, receipts etc). Everything is so messy and unorganized. I suppose that will take up much of today's time.

Oh, this summer I have planned to do my internship. I have an interview tomorrow for which I need to prepare later. Insha Allah I really hope it goes well. I really want and need this internship else I will be lost about how I am going to spend the summer. It is too late for summer courses, which begin today.

Apart from cleaning, I have been rather active recently. (Haha). I suppose everyone is correct, I just cannot SLACK. I always dream of having a holiday in which I slack. I want to stay at home, chat, watch tv, eat, sleep and continue the routine for a whole month. But, I just never do so. I always get myself busy with something. I have like a whole load of tasks on list. (Haha) yup that is my summer for you.

Adil and I have planned for KL trip. We were suppose to go last week, however Fathak (his cousin) passed away, so we decided to postponed the trip. It was very sad. I had known him too. He was a very nice person. I dóa (pray) for him.

We are living this Friday and will return on Sunday. It is our weekend getaway J. *can't wait*

Oh well, I wanted to give a quick update because I have received complains about the blog not being update and people are tired of seeing the last sad entry.

Adios!

She lies there ...breathless...regretfully

2008-04-05T23:24:00.001+08:00

And she fell on the ground as a failure, waiting for a miracle to lift her spirit up....

She fought hard, she thought. But, apparently she was flawed.

She lost control for it's her focus that she forgot.

Now she tears the minutes away and appears lost....

Regrets...

2008-03-17T13:09:00.001+08:00

Have you come across these annoying situations where you did something (knowing it was not right to do so) and then sit to regret about it? And then, you hate yourself for being so stupid because you cannot undo your action? I am going through one of such moments right now. I am really trying my best to distract the regretful thoughts by reading my GSPM article. (*high pitch*) IT AIN'T WORKING!

Oh do not worry, it's nothing majorly sinful. It is just something small that I do not even wish to even start elaborating. I just really wish I had not done it. I wish I was in some magical world where I can zap to travel back in time and behave more wisely. Then again if that was the case, I need not reverse time, I just need to stop the consequences of my action from occurring. Anyway, this rubbish is besides the point. I told myself I would not do something and I did it.

Arrrgh I really hate myself.

How how can I stop myself from doing what I know I will regret... how how how!

It is NOT the ‘Holy Book’

2008-03-14T22:12:00.001+08:00

As intellectual beings we aim to progress towards wisdom. Being wise does not end with acquiring knowledge and experience. We have a responsibility to ensure that the information we have gained is accurate or at least we are convinced it is so. Facts, if accurate, would be represented with the precise and appropriate terms. Often we use terms to describe things around us, but we never explore the accuracy of this term. This is an attempt to rectify, what I believe, one of such misrepresented term.

Al-Quran (The Quran) is the revelation from Allah to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). It means 'The Recitation' and is believed by Muslims to be the divine guidance and direction for mankind. Islamic history has it that the Quran was revealed to Muhammad by the angel Gibraele (Gabriel) over a period of 23 years. As to my knowledge, Gibraele 'transferred' the the Quran to Muhammad in verses over this period. In any case, the verses were revealed and spread in oral form. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) did not receive a Holy Book from Allah, through angel Gibraele. Therefore it is only correct to say that the Quran is a recitation received by the Prophet Muhammad, the last Messenger of Allah.

The term 'Holy Book' came into usage because of education. It is one of chosen label to describe the Quran to the world of different religions, cultures and languages. I appreciate the efforts to spread the knowledge of Islam around and I am in no way discouraging it, but my proposition is to educate them using the right terms. The Quranic verses recited by the Prophet (peace be upon him) were scribed by his followers during his lifetime. Let me highlight that at the time of Prophet Muhammad's death, the Quran was not in book form. It was only after sometime that these recorded recitations were compiled into one volume of book. Thus, I would like to reiterate my point; what Prophet received from Allah was NOT A HOLY BOOK.

The compilation led the world to believe that the Quran is a Holy Book. 'Holy' means sacred. The book, my friends, is not sacred. The Quran (the recitations), the word from Allah, is divine. The Quran is not to be worshipped but respected and followed.

So, it does not sound right to call it 'The Holy Book' of Islam. Like I have explained, it is not. We have Quran in electronic versions now; CD-ROMS and websites. Do we then call these 'The Holy CD' or 'The Holy Website'? You may think that 'book' is not the intended meaning. By saying 'book' we mean scriptures or something. Any meaning of book (manuscript, scripture etc) will also not justify the terming because the Quran is none of this. I believe my above paragraph have proven this point and reiterated them enough.

I can hear you say, 'It's just a term so that people understand what this source of information is'. That is basically my argument my friends. If you want to make people understand Quran, do so in the 'rightful' manner. Tell them that the Quran is recitations from Allah (God) to the mankind. If they do not understand, define 'recitation' for them.

The Quran is NOT the 'Holy Book' of Islam. I believe this is the true information and you have a responsibility to verify what I have said and correct yourself.

Pavilia.... is just awesome!

2008-03-12T13:41:00.016+08:00

It may sound odd to name my new tablet pc 'Pavilia', but I just could not resist doing so. I like nicknaming my favourite objects. Well, I do not deny that the name sounds 'weird' but its not too bad yeah?Anyway, let's get to the matter. She is just AWESOME. She is 12'inch in size and loaded with features.

Why you too will love her..?

She is small in size (12'inch) and light weighted (4.3 lbs = 1.9 kg), so she fits nicely into your MYUK bag.
The touchscreen requires just one finger of yours to navigate through the applications. The sensitivity, so far, has been quick with maybe 1 sec delay.
When you are really tired and bored, you can sit on on your bed and write your chats just like scribbling on a piece of paper. The screen can be rotate 180 degrees and can be folded into a tablet.

If you are those that needs to lock your comp but get tired of keying in passwords, then you just need to swipe your finger on the fingerprint reading to log into your windows account!
If you just love watching movies or listening to music often, you can control by using the muttons on the side of the PC. Need not open the media player just to go to next scene or next song.
Show yourself to everyone (especially boyfriend or husband) with your webcam! And, just turn on the voice to talk to them.
Make your own DVD labels with lightscribe
You can upload your photo from you SD cards instantly using the card reader
You can stand infront and closer to the audience when you present in class because you have a remote controller to navigate your slides
Transfer files between you mobile phone and notebook using blue-tooth.

The technical specifications... for the geeks:
For your benefit, I took a photo of the specs from the phamplet they gave out in the IT Show. Its a little unclear though, but still legible.

Anything you may dislike?
The screen appeared a little unfriendly to me. I think it is because I am not used to the touch screen effect. When you first begin to use it, you have a feeling that your words and applications appear distanced and blurry. Once you get used to it, its as good as your old one.

The battery seems to be heated up easily though. When I touch the fan area, it seems to be very hot. The 4-cell battery lasts for about 1-2 hours I think. I have not done a proper testing on it yet. Well its 2.40pm now & my batter is 99%. I will put a note in comment when its down to 10% or lower. I have yet to test the 8-cell battery I got along with the promotion.

Apart from these, no complains for now. She is just sexy.

*The pictures and information where downloaded from http://www.shopping.hp.com/webapp/shopping/store_access.do?template_type=series_detail&category=notebooks&series_name=tx2000z_series&jumpid=re_r602_ec_artgen_other_psg_jan08_browseandbuytx2000_572546 and from the IT Show phamplet*

And you will continue to be

2008-03-10T14:08:00.005+08:00

I thought I should do a quick mention of something that I just realized.

Many of us have classified ourselves as ídiots'. Some of us call ourselves 'directional-idiots' and many of us 'technical-idiots'. I am a 'directional-idiot. I am not able to take note of directions easily. I still do not know how to go to Paragon and people who recently came to Singapore give me directions to restaurants in Little India. Yup, that is how bad it is. Then again, its not that I do not know. Either I am less capable of noting directions compared to others or I just do not make efforts to learn.

A little bit of thinking will inform us that The Theory of 'Idiocracy' leads to the conclusion that EVERYONE IS AN IDIOT. If no one is perfect, then we are all incapable in someways. Therefore we are all idiots.Am i right or...am i 'right'?

Anyway, that was a little 'bit' for u to ponder. This is what actually happened. I emailed Hong Seng (my EI instructor) requesting for an appointment today. I wanted to meet him to clarify some doubts about Web Services. In one of my emails I mentioned that I was confused on the technicality of Web Services (i.e. how they really work). I ended the email with "P.S: Bear in mind I am a technical -idiot :)". Then Hong Seng replied to confirm our meeting and ended his email with

"p.s. :
you will continue to be one as you continue to frame your mind that way :)"

Those golden words of wisdom made Faheema realize that unless she stops calling herself an idiot she will remain to be one forever. Maybe it is time to do something about somethings...

And you ought to do something about it too else you will continue to be.....

A crack.....

2008-03-08T23:54:00.005+08:00

It was a very filling day. After the ethics test and EI meeting, Adil & I went to the IT Show. It was very crowded; VERY crowded. It was kind of messy and irritating actually, but the offers were pretty tempting.

Adil bought me a new tablet. HP Pavillion tx2028AU Entertainment Notebook PC. It was under student special offer. We also subscribed to Singnet's broadband which offered a free XBOX 360. He got himself a Fujifilm fine pix too. It was a good day of shopping. I thought we got some good deals.

I was sooooo excited about tablet. I had wanted the Fujitsu tablet for sometime and this was just nice. I could not wait show some people I would consider special enough to share my happiness with me. I came online and told one of such special people about my happy day. And i received a reaction that I had not expected. Comments that I did not think this person would give. A tone in the comments that just cracked my happiness. All of it just like that....

Its hard for me sometimes. Somehow, someways I happen to be blessed. Many around me may find it a little show off. I can neither help their thinking nor help my situtation. Let the world think what they want. I need not care about what they think about me because they do not understand me. They need not either.

But, when I choose to share my happiness with some special people and they misunderstand me, it hurts. Suddenly there seems to be a crack in the happiness. I wish I had kept my silence and my distance....

Midnight Blabbering

2008-02-25T02:15:00.002+08:00

I am not sleepy. I am sitting on my bed, with my Compaq on my lap, watching Grey's Anatomy. I am wide awake and still feeling fresh. I am not sleepy.

Today (I mean Sunday the 24th) was a very productive day for me. I cannot help but be shocked at how active I was.
I actually studied. The test is after the term break for your information.

Then I spent some time thinking about my Paper 2 for GSPM. I email Ben (my prof) regarding a change in my collaboration tool. I decided to do my paper on Microsoft Groove.

I cleaned my entire room; inside out including the windows. It is so clean that if it was in an advertisements, it could actually sparkle!

I worked on my IST research and also drafted the report format. I am waiting for replies..

Beyond all that I had a good online conversation with Jeet after a long time. We talked about how things were. Conversations with him are always worth the time. Matured worth-the though conversations. I hope things set out better for him.

Then talked with Tina about her laptop. She plans to sell her Acer and get a Compaq. Then we bitched about this South Indian actress whom I hate alot. She was hosting a show in Vijay TV and I wish I could throw her in a crocodile pit. She was just very fake and lame.

Oh I also had a hearty conversation with my childhood friend Nazreen. We go all the way back to primary school. Our mothers know each other pretty well. We both talked alot about how THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND. We ended promise on shopping one day.

That reminds me I have still not met Nabisa. For some reason, our date has been a long pending task. Delayed almost more than 1 year. Its been long since I heard from her. Maybe I sould buzz her tomorrow, I mean today.

There was also a silly fight which i came across but I shan't elaborate on that. It was a silly ego clash.

Adil sent pictures of himself in the ship (he is in Korea for the delivery of their company ship called Abu Dhabi Star). Kind of cool. He is wearing a jump suit! Looks different. I think he was on ship all day so he sounded tired when I called him just now.

Star world is airing The O.C. now. I shall end it here and wait to sleep soon.

Good Night

P.S: I've started to do the 'report my everyday' thing in the blog. Well, to those who like it *smiles* and to those who do not *bigger smiles*

Friday Night Bitching….

2008-02-22T21:39:00.001+08:00

I am in a good mood to bitch about everything I simply cannot stand. I just feel like unleashing all the black in my mind.

The following is not targeted at anyone specific (actually there are number of people who prompted me to say it, so no one specific ya) but if you feel some jolt of guilt then it's merely a sign for you to start thinking.

Just like that

WHY AM I WAITING?

I simply hate it when I do not receive replies for my email; especially the ones that I have specifically requested for a quick response. If I send an email I expect a reply within 24 hours! Well honestly even I cannot keep to this and I admit it's wrong. Firstly, we should all cultivate the good habit of checking email at least 3—4 times a day. Then we must make it a practice to reply emails within 24 hours. If you are unable to provide a definite answer to the matters concerned in the email, it would help to reply and inform the other party that they may have to wait. These are simple courtesy to follow. And in a team project, it becomes rather crucial because it bugs members like me. We took the time and effort to the send the email damn it! Be nice enough to at least acknowledge you have read it! *angry tomato face*

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING?

Then, imagine sitting with a group people, who are talking among themselves regarding something you are also concerned with. BUT… in an entirely different language!!! How many of you face the situation where you and your team members are sitting in a group and then they are chatting away in Chinese/Malay/Tamil/Hindi? Does that annoy you? It definitely makes me want to get up and storm of to somewhere good. I simply am wasting my precious minutes with a bunch of thoughtless YOUNG 'adults'. The anger rises in degree when they are actually talking about the project itself! If you are in SMU and you do this, I simply wonder how you got this far… *raises eyebrow*

WHY CANNOT YOU TALK PROPERLY?

Dealing with alienation is not good enough. We have this bunch of people who claim to be CRITICAL. They have so much to criticise! Things appear to be stupid, silly and rubbish just like that. They fail to justify themselves and they fail to notice that others would have different opinions. And, it gets even more irritating when they pin their opinions on you as if they are right and you are not. If you mention about something you like and Mr. or Miss Critic replies with a 'Really? That's so stupid!' shut your mind at them. FYI they are not worth it. Being polite is important and necessary. If they repeat, give it back to them (bring down rude with rude). If you wish not to get that low, officially delete them of your 'share thoughts with' buddy list. You are wasting time talking to someone who obviously cannot contribute something substantial to the conversation. For some of you who still do not know me well, I hate people saying the word stupid TO ME. It can be used in a sentence of course, but not AT me (get it?). If you call me stupid, you may just get the stupid side of me. Have you parents not taught you not to call others stupid? And, I hate people being rude in the name of jokes, because sometimes I do not think it is fun. When I get back to you rudely, it is only because you asked for it.

DID I SAY I AM PERFECT?

C'mon I do not claim to be perfect. But you surely not catch me not replying to emails, saying your preferences are stupid (or finding ways to make fun of you for the sake of doing so) and talking a different language in front of you. I make sure I am not rude to people unless they deserve it. I may have done some of the above unintentionally, but I make sure I know about it and I amend my mistakes. Unlike the many I am bitching about, I care about how my behaviour affect others.

~~~ Jumper ~~~

2008-02-15T22:45:00.000+08:00

It failed to impress from the beginning. I felt that the introductory scenes were typical hollywood cliche; the hero's teenage year's, the mother who left, the father who stayed, the high school sweet-heartl and his discovery of himself.

For a of sci-fi / supernatural concept of this nature, the story lacked mystery. The scenes were predictable. Throughout the movie i was expecting for something really awesome to happen with the story. Something edgy. Oh well, it was really nothing.

The effects were not that impressive but not that bad either. In some ways, kind of cool. Then again, they could have done better. The settings provided a reason to continue watching. You are curious where else they would land. Egypt was overly used though.

The lead actor was cute I would say. Charming when he is not smiling, but in some scenes he appears idiotic. The lead actress...deserves no comment. The villain did his duty. He gave the hero problems and made him jump around. Apart from that he was just another reason for the movie to move on.

Jumper .... 3.5 / 10

Advise: Wait for DVD. It ain't a big screen material.

Notebook Time!

2008-02-12T00:08:00.001+08:00

My IST (Information Security & Trusts) professors seemed extremely cute today. He introduced the concept of 'Notebook Time'.
'Notebook Time' is basically a break in the lecture that gives students time to use laptop for non-lecture activities such as chatting, sending emails etc.

It appears that a professor from Social Sciences School sat in for the Tuesday class last week. Professor SOSS commented on the behaviour of the class during lecture. Every student was busy; chatting with friends next to them & across class, messing with mails, obsessed with games, and listening to ¼ of the professor's golden words. This common SIS culture might have been shocking to Prof. SOSS because there are few reasons for a social science student to use laptop during lessons. Therefore, naturally, Professor SOSS was utterly disappointed with the student's attitude in class. I am sure you would agree that her judgement of SIS students is justified.

That being the problem situation, Professor IST devised a cute mechanism to control class behaviour. He invented/introduced 'Notebook Time'. Basically after every 20 minutes of lecture, he grants the class 10 minutes to do anything (mainly use their laptops). Then after the 10 minutes everyone turns back to the 'Lecture only' mode. Cute indeed, but is it clever? Well, we will have to wait for the next 9 weeks to answer that.

Yes, the news seems amusing and attention-grabbing, but the underlying issue here is that 'class behaviour' is indeed an Issue. We are speaking about the behaviour of university students (young adults) in a class environment! The fact that this has to be a discussion itself is senseless yet shameless.

Senseless:

At tertiary level of education, you would least expect the professors/lecturers to spoon feed us with how you ought to behave. Firstly you are expected to know, or at least gage by some form of common senses, the appropriate behaviour for a particular setting. Secondly, having attained the title of Young Adults we are not to be told how we can or cannot (should or should not) behave. Our age gives us the rights to behave the way we wish to, as long as it does no harm to any other person.

Going by this logic we can do anything we want in class. Our choice of not paying attention should not be a concern to professor. It's our choice and when we lose out in the end, it's our lost. The professor should just do his job without fussing. Pay attention or do not pay attention, the school fees move upward on scale and his salary is constant on the graph.

Another attempt to justify the apparently unaccepted student culture would be difference learning preferences. Some of us learn better by mugging those heavy costly textbooks and some of us learn better listening in class. Therefore if a student is able to study the curriculum through reading and not listening, what is the issue?

Shameless:
The practical reasons behind the behaviour are definitely sound. Despite the justification, I would blush to say I am one of these students. I definitely do not wish to be told how to behave. However I think it would be a shame that I do not have the maturity to respect a person.

The professor is doing his job, I agree. He is being paid to stand in front and share his knowledge. In fact, we are paying him. BUT he, being a human, still deserves some respect. The professor, just like you and me, should not have to spend his time speaking to a bunch of irresponsible grownups. He took time to prepare for the class. The least we could do is giving him a small fragment of our time and mind. After all it is for our benefit. He need not care. He still gets his pay. However, he does care that every student learns from him and therefore he deserves even more respect.

And for those of us who cannot learn by listening and attend class for the sake of attendance bit of class participation:
It is more respectful if you do not attend the class. Your guts to not attend the class (the willingness to lose your class participation) can be more appreciated then attending the class and being disrespectful. I would see you as a bad student but a good human.

I'm hoping to change a bit by bit. I would not pretend to transform completely, but I should change.

So, let's see how clever the cute device and more importantly how ethical the students can get

Stress Level Up! Sanity Level Down!

2008-02-07T01:15:00.001+08:00

Panic Alert!

Here's why I am full of exclamations.

WEEK 7, TERM 2, YEAR 2.

Monday (18 Feb) : IST - Quiz [15%]
Tuesday (19 Feb) : Econs- Midterm test [30%]
Wednesday (20 Feb) : EI - Assignment 1 Submission & Presentation [15%]
Thursday (21 Feb) : GSPM - SMU&CMU Final project Due [18%]
Friday (22 Feb) : Faheema is dead & resting in Insanity!

How am I going to survive? Is this humanly possible? *wide eyes*
I think you are dumbstruck as much as I am. No further comments. I rest this upon Allah. *prays*

GONG XI FA CAI
It's officially Chinese New Year, so my heartfelt wishes to all my Chinese friends.
It's a long weekend of holidays in Singapore, but we SMUGGERS do not / will not rest. We will mug despite the good number of public holidays. Rumour has it that ¾ of the student population will return to school on Saturday for make-up lessons. *rolls eyes*

It's mid of week 5 and I have about 1.5 week before I enter battle ground. I have a lot to read and a lot to digest. But, as of now my stress level is increasing by the minute and my sanity level is nearing negativity.

Remember me in your prayers will ya?

** IST (Information Security Trust) -- Econs (Intro to Economics) – EI (Enterprise Integration) -- GSPM (Global Software Project Management)

Wired up in Pink!

2008-02-05T23:08:00.001+08:00

I finally decided! It's going to be pink.

Pink…

I have always disliked this colour. I felt it never suited me. It was too bright and flashy for a person like me.
However recently I have some sort of attraction towards it. My 'Creative Stone Plus' is pink. My new stationary purse is pink.
And now my blog is pink. J

FYI I designed the header and yes you would have guessed it I am not a designer. BUT I always pride over my work because it satisfy my demands and that is good enuff.
The colour scheme of the font needs some improvement though. I am trying my best to work with the limitations Blogger has presented me, but I am sure we will settle down with something good.

For those of you who like it *hi5!* and for those of you who do not *good luck and hope to see you again*

She's all wired up….
The thought on this is something that can be only explained verbally over a mocha latte. It is rather ambiguous. Like all modern art I shall leave you to decipher the meaning behind this phrase.

Good Night

RENOVATING

2008-02-04T18:15:00.001+08:00

Time calls for a change in the blog's appearance. That explains the mess you are viewing. I am in the midst of making changes and I just simply cannot decide on what I should do.
Hopefully I will get something good soon.
Meanwhile I apologize for having you look at the mess.

‘Testing Testing 1..2..3’

2008-02-01T09:10:00.001+08:00

I am proud to present the first blog entry using MS Word from Microsoft Office Enterprise 2007. *wide smile*

Yup yup yup. Ms Word 2007 has real cool features that are user friendly and totally AWESOME!

I just discovered that it allows you to connect and publish to your various blog sites. If you have a server to upload pictures, it gets much better. I always typed my blog entries in MS Word and then copied (Alt+A, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V) to my blog. Now, all I need to do is type, spell check and click 'Publish'. Life's good JOkay time to check out how this entry out in the blog!

*Publish!*

Blabbering from Bus

2008-01-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

I blog (blabber) from all kinds places don't I? As a matter of fact, I seem to have blabbered from all kinds of transportation mode. First Tiger Airways and now SBS Service 23.

I finished my EI meeting and decided to take the bus because I was too tired to go home standing on an MRT. Well, it was a blunder mistake because I waited 30 minutes for that darn bus. And, now I am in bus 23, blogging and watching Grey's Anatomy Season 4 Episode 7. I know, this sounds insane BUT this is me we are talking about. I am all about insane. *winks*

Soooo.... what shall I blabber about? Well, my mind is crowded with many things and I would love spice your reading time with some drama. But but but, not now. I am so sorry that I must bore with 'What interesting things happened with Faheema today' details.

[Side track! Ezzie and George are really really funny in this scene. *lol*]

EI class was boring but I made some progress in catching up because I hand-wrote my notes. That was something new I learnt about myself. Hand-writing notes really registers facts into my head. Therefore I should do it often and whenever possible.

Turner was looking for 3 words that described her personality, so that was in the back of my head while I worked on my research and EI Lab 5 (which I must complete by tonight and discuss with Dave because he just sms me to inform him when I come online.). I am still thinking though. I just want to be careful on the words I think describe her. She is a very considerate person. She had always cared for others' feelings. She can be a bit siow (crazy) sometimes but that makes it fun to be around her. Oh, I've got considerate and crazy so far. One more word. *thinking in process*

There were moments when I felt sad today. The sudden gush of pain in the heart, but as usual and always I managed it well.

I just realized that that blabbering has gotten unacceptably long. Oh I'm now at Temasek Polytechnic Main Bus Stop and the time is 10:01pm.

Adios!

Sunday night blabbers

2008-01-27T21:23:00.000+08:00

I sit at my study desk feeling very reluctant to finish my assignment for Information Security and Trust. It is 5% and it has 7 questions. Yes, each question is barely 1%.
BUT, Vivek says the total 5% matters. Vivek always blabbers *sticks out tongue*

I've got a fairly handsome guy on my bed distracting me. He is not suppose to be doing so. We had agreed that he stays invisible until I finish my work.
BUT he has problems keeping his side of the deal.

I am wondering what I should wear to school tomorrow. I finally got myself a haircut after a long time. Its layered, shorter, neater and I love it. I feel like myself. The old me. The school girl Faheema who was bold, carefree and highly independent. So, I was thinking of wearing something nice tomorrow.
BUT which of my many black dresses should I wear?

I finished Season 3 of Grey's Anatomy and have started Season 4. There is so much I have to say about it so much.
BUT not tonight.

Oh and Dad is in town! And he is leaving tomorrow. I think. He bought lots and lots of chocolates. *hehe* Yes I am kind of overdosed and high on chocolates.
BUT I am steady.

You know what I should do justice to the darn assignment and go finish it.

Good Night

Cold War - Windows Live Messenger PM, 2008

2008-01-25T09:04:00.000+08:00

It really is interesting how a feature of Windows Live Messenger has evolved into platform for cold war. The personal messages are now bullets to express hints of feelings to your targetted victim. You could be reading the blog of a current / potential soldier of this war. And, I simply refuse to fight. I rather take the bullets, because when I do, I only hurt those I care for.

So, what do we have here? We have a bunch of friends who really love each other and are trying to let go of it. Basically they play nice by choosing to send the message with the help of Microsoft's popular technology, because we cannot and will not talk to the faces that we see around / and will see around often.

Digging into the matter.
Changes in life is something we ought to be casual about by now. Changes brought us to where we are today. There is simply nothing wrong with changes.

How do the changes occur? Sometimes its natural; you do not realize it has happened until it did. And, sometimes you force it on yourself. We also have the kind who like to quicken the changes to occur soon so that they can move on fast. In doing so, they may hurt some people and they hurt themselves alot. They earn bad names such as 'cruel'. That is perfectly fine, because its all part of the process. It will all eventually turn out good. I promise.

The times we spent with each other should have showed how much we care, but its sad that we do not realize it when the time calls for it. If you know me, you know I care. Certain things have changed and will change, but how is it that you forgot I have your back? How did you think I will let you fall? Has the distance broken the trust?

The distance was not something I created, it was something I followed. Did you also forget I always have a good reason for what I do? How did you forget that I am standing, far, but 'with you' in a decision you took?

We could be bold and speak out everything, but this is better. Trust me. It will do good.

Meanwhile, let's wait for the cold war to settle down after every soldier lays on the floor breathless

Seriously serious

2008-01-22T16:52:00.000+08:00

I am now, alone, in level 5 of my school library. I had inadequate sleep so I am kind of moody. And, I am dissatisfied with the coffee’s ability to help me.

After a dilemma lasting about one hour, I have decided to skip Economics class today. I just emailed the professor to inform him about my absence and that I wish to attend a make-up class on Thursday evening. Oh well, its not going to make much of difference, but I hope that my mood will be better for Thursday class. Actually I did not want to attend the lesson because I am not prepared for it. I need to read up two chapters and at this very moment my brain cells are resisting economics.

I told myself I should prepare for the classes I attend. It is very crucial for me to prepare for my lessons. It really helps me to follow through. And, it is one of my main resolutions. I should really stick to it. Attending a class without preparing, especially Economics is as good as not attending it. Also, reading the chapters during the semester saves the nerve-breaking hassle during the exam period.

I am very unhappy with my performance so far. I do not deny the improvements compared to previous semesters. Still this is not what I had promised myself. I am still laid back. I could afford to push myself further. I have the ability but I am not being efficient. It’s Week 3, and my engines need pump more so that I can start speeding up.

I am getting distracted too often by many things; especially people who are walking in and out of my life. I really ought to tighten up my ego on this. Since when did I let such things meddle with my mind? What is new or rare about people who come into your life, create beautiful moments and disappear without a word? And, what is new or rare about strangers who randomly appear to show a different side of life to you? I really should take these as passing clouds that does not affect the weather on my land. I classify myself as being stupid when I let the climatic changes spoil my world. C’mon my planet is strong enough to handle hurricanes. Then why am I worried over the monsoon seasons?

Like I said, I need to ditch everything that is going to distract me from my resolutions and be seriously serious.

*off to study Encryption*

Ego with 'special'

2008-01-17T18:25:00.000+08:00

After so much of dilemma, I have decided to break the lock on something I did not wish to let out; ever. I cannot help but be impressed at this person who really wants to find out the truth. I just felt so evil being stubborn.

On a side note, guess what my horoscope reads today…
‘You'll begin to have doubts about a recent decision you made, but remember how much thought you put into it.

I really am still not sure if I should reveal the reasons for letting go of something that was special. It was special because it meant a lot to the person who gave it to me. It became special to me because I was the only who shared that special thing with him/her at that point of time. Sort of, I think. Or, that was what I understood. I did not expect for him/her to have given me such a meaningful place in his/her life; as a person worthy enough to share the special thing. It was me and not anyone else in the circle of new friends. Why me?

Maybe I misinterpreted the message or I did not get the definitions right.

Then, there came a moment, sometime ago, when I became ONE of the people who shared this special thing. Yes, he/she had decided to expand the network. Or maybe, he just met more special ones. And, that is perfectly fine. I’ve no rights to complain about that. But.. but… but.. for some reason it saddened me.

I have no explanations to what I had felt. And it was definitely not because his/her ‘special’ network was grew, but it was because that suddenly the special thing smelled ‘ordinary’. It was not special anymore. And that was sad. I do not know why, but I felt sad. A sudden crack in the joy I had over that special thing. A special bond broke…

He/She made no promise that I was the only one whom he/she shared the special thing. In fact I knew I was not the only one. But, I thought he/she meant it was me for some special reason (at least at that moment) and the thought that it was all not special anymore was hard to realize.
I really enjoyed the special thing a lot; despite the fact that it was special / not special. Yes I started it because it meant something for him/her, but eventually I developed some love for it too. Then why let go?

Because it made my ego feel weak. It was really a no big thing. I misinterpreted, assumed things. So what? Why should I be feeling sad over such a thing? Why should I even feel hurt? Actually I should not even have had sentiments over this. Why did I? Had my ego been sleeping? How did I fail to think through? Was I distracted? How did I make such misinterpretation? On what basis did I dare to have such feelings?

My ego just would not rest every time I touched the ‘once special thing’. And, I confess I can be a little possessive to what is in my life. What was special to me should be special to me only. My special moments are something I own and the thought that someone has hogged part of it is …painful?

It all sounds so childish. Extremely silly. If that ‘once special thing’ is making me feel so silly and maybe stupid, then I do not need it. I’m better of without it, because my ego cannot bend for it.

And why did I not wish to tell the person about this? It was highly unnecessary. I let go of the special thing because of my mental arguments over my stupidity. The arguments were eating my head out. It was pointless to share it him/her. Could she/he reverse time and change anything? Also, it meant so much to him/her. I would not want to hurt him/her in anyway. So, that is why I did not want to and do not want to tell the person.

I am allowed me silly too… but even then my ego should stand straight

New year, new semester, new me

2008-01-11T01:58:00.000+08:00

You must be wondering why I have suddenly turned into reporting about happenings in my life. Oh well, it was a kind request from one of my fans to do so. He/She wants to know ‘what’s up’ in my life. For him/her and for my own reflection, I will try to do a regular spill.

It’s a new year; yesterday was Muharram, so its now 1429 in Islamic calendar. It is a new semester with lots of reading for me. And, I have a long list of resolutions and therefore I hope to see a new me.
SOME of the main resolutions:

Focus on academic work. Do not involve in CCA / events
Do not be late for classes and meetings
Not to take taxi unnecessarily
Manage personal finance. Spend money wisely. Think, plan and do not waste
Skip dinner. Eat light and avoid junk.
Minimize chocolates. Maximum 2 for a week.
Be independent and solo as much as possible.
Stone up the heart when deemed necessary

I know the resolutions are a little hard to digest, but honestly this is just a little of the many that I have drawn around me. These are more like boundaries for my self development. I recently came to realize that I should start being more serious with my life.

I am satisfied with my 1^st 1.5 years in SMU. I achieved a number of things at the expense of good grades. I think I have accomplished enough for now. It is time to do some justice to my studies and the fees I am paying, so I should start focusing on my studies. Most of my other resolutions ensure that I achieve that.

I screwed up resolution 3 on first day of school. I took a cab to school to avoid breaking resolution 2 but I broke resolution 4 instead. I spent $25 on the cab ride. Oh well, it was just the first day. Resolution 4 is rather hard to follow. It seems to be the toughest, but the progress is positive so far. I have started to pack lunch to school. Next I should avoid buying things during class breaks.

Resolution 7 & 8… I am hoping to finally achieve the silence in my life. I have always been surrounded by a large group of fun people who love me. Life has always been cheerful and colourful for me. And, most of the times I have been centre of attraction gaining popularity and fame. I thank Allah for that, but I want to retire. I am now seeking a quiet time where I learn about myself and focus deep inside me. I want to reflect and think on my actions. I want to meet the goals I set. To achieve these, I need to stay away from relationships that complicate life. I need to train myself to stop being sensitive and take everything with a light mind.

Well that is about it. Its 2am and I have class in 12 hours.

Good Night

LIVE FROM TR639

2008-01-07T17:32:00.000+08:00

[I wrote this blog entry when i was onboard in Tiger Airwayrs. It was written on January 4th]

The vacation official ends. I am now on Tiger Airways TR639 back to Singapore. I just recalled that my previous on-board blog entry has not been posted yet. Anyway, getting to the matter; holidays officially ends here. This December was once again full of activities and hardly any time to spend some lone time. It appears that I may never get the quiet, peaceful, at-home, vacation that my body craves and my mind needs.

The vacation started with shopping in Chennai with Fairoze Aunty, Bought some punjabi suit material for myself. After the two days of rush, aunty and I travelled in train to my hometown. The train journey was interesting. We were accompanied by a group of travellers who were going to Rameshwaram for pilgrimage. They were singing some hymns and a little busy. Aunty was getting annoyed with the guys walking up and down the compartment. There was a guy, with a cute smile, who apologized to me for the inconvenience the group was causing. He was sorry that they were interrupting my reading. It was rather nice of him. We got window seats, which were not exactly comfortable.

We arrived in my hometown on 14th December along with some rain. Adil's cousin sister was getting married, so I go busy that night itself. For the next few days we moved to all parts of the town to invite friends and relatives. Until 26th, my main task was to get dressed and keep smiling. I had to visit many people and alot of people came home to see me. All these formalities fought for time along with wedding preparations. Oh, and there was Eid (Hari Raya) in between. And, the rain was always with us.

The wedding was on 23rd and it went well. Its always nice to see families get togather and share joyful moments. Adil left on 25th and then things got a little relaxed, but there was no rest. It was mostly fun, fun and fun. Its hard to grab lone time when you are surrounded my people who love being around you and would do anything you desire.

The new borns, Ahmed Gani & Zubair Khan, were very very cute. I really really miss them. Ahmed was such a darling. He always smiled when he saw me. He makes me want to have a baby soon. That was from the bottom of my heart by the way. Zanubiyyah is very talketive and getting very pretty as days go by.

This trip to India, was full of bad news actually. I felled down in Ramanadhapuran (Indian Silk House) and hurt my ankle. Dr. AK Rahman said it looks like a ligament sprain and I should be careful not to stress my foot for the next one month. \par

Then there were about 4 death news. Sameeha's twins; there were 6 months in her womb. One passed away inside the womb and the other during delivery.
Sameera's baby girl. She was nine months in the womb, when she passed away. I am a little depressed over these. I am not able to get over.
Then, Imran, he is 25 years old and just got engaged. He was suppose to get married next year. He passed away while swimming during picnic.

Well, that was vacation in brief. There are many things to elaborate on, but my battery is weak and I am very tired.

Good Night

Munafiqun Society

2007-12-30T13:38:00.000+08:00

I was sitting down on my couch and having my morning coffee when an elderly couple entered. They had just recently fixed their daughter’s marriage and they came looking for my parents to seek financial help. Father is well-known among his family and friends for being generous. He has helped many people when they needed money. I had always admired this in him. If he has money, he will surely help. Anyway that is besides the point, I wanted to discuss another issue.

The couple had fixed the marriage on the condition of 1.5 lakhs of dowry. That is about 6000 SGD. Dowry is the gift (mostly money or gold) that the bride’s family gives the groom’s family. I am not sure about the other parts of the world, but in Tamil Nadu (South India) dowry has become a pressing issue. I do not know how it started. As a matter of fact, I do not think anyone does. Maybe it started with the rich giving their daughters part of their assets when they send them to the groom’s residence. Over the last century, or more, dowry evolved into a dominating factor for the groom’s. They would only agree to the marriage if they receive the dowry they demand. In a society where marriage is the most important phase of a woman’s life it is hard to argue that the bride’s side should not fall for such compulsion. They just want to get their daughters’ married off.

There have been many serious cases where innocent women have been tortured for dowry even after their marriage. Many of ended in very cruel death.

It is all rather complicated and its hard to answer the many questions in your mind through one blog entry. And, take it from me, you will not understand it from where you are. It will seem uneducated and uncultured. But, when you are among these people, you MAY understand why its all happening. Yes, it has to change, but it will not. Not so soon.
Islam is in no way part of this culture. In Islam, the groom is suppose to give the bride mahar (gift) that he is able to afford from his earning. BUT… in my hometown (in India), which is a Islamic town, people who claim to be Muslims and truthfully pious are asking for dowry! *disgusting*

The couple mentioned that the groom’s side agreed to hold the marriage immediately after they settled the dowry. It saddens me to think that people would be so unkind for the sake of money. Money had blinded a Muslim and his learning. They are going through so much trouble for something they will not be able to take to their graves or after life. It further pains me to think that they old couple have to knock many doors and hope that someone would help them complete their parental duties.

It is all very saddening and frustrating. My hometown has many educated and rich people. It isn by a jamath (governing body) that claims to act by the Holy Quran. Yet, they sit from their thrones and watch something that Allah despises. They speak of the Prophet (peace be upon him) every minute, but they do nothing about putting an end this matter.

Sadly, I am part of this Munafiqun* Society.

Munafiqun (Hypocrites)

Familiar Strangers

2007-12-10T01:25:00.000+08:00

I do not get it. This is not meant to be complicated. Why should it be?

I hate relationships, especially friendship. It sometimes complicates things for no reason. Kris was telling me about 'familiar strangers'. We were talking about how friends who are so close became almost strangers. You know when someone new comes into our life, we get so busy with them that we forget the ones who are already in our life? We forget and forget until on day it fades. Yes, that is what we meant by 'familiar strangers'.

Sadly, somethings between someone & I might change. You may want to highlight the might, but it is no use. I am not willing to wait and see if it does change or not. At any point, it will. I think I should just back off now itself. This is just to protect myself. I want to vanish before I fade.

It is not fair for me. Sadly the person succeeded to befriend my ego. Now it gets hard on me.I do not want any complication. I do not want anything going on.I just want to be myself; capable of walking away, alone.

* Hitman *

2007-12-04T16:42:00.000+08:00

The movie makes you go

whoah! ; awesome! ; eeeww! ; mmhmm.... ; huh?

The way he escapes from the hotel was pretty cool I must say. And, the way he destroys evidences with the blast. Those scenes that were full of clever techniques would take most of the credits.

For a person, like me, who hates bloodshot scenes that has pieces of brains flying around:
It can get a little disgusting every time he has a gun in his hand. Well that is 80% of the movie :)

I am still not sure why it is just NC16. The lead actress is kind of nude a few times. But, nothing that bad. It is still a highly violent.

Speaking of lead actress. She surely was there to dig into the men's mind and I think she had quite accomplished that. Then again, there were very few scenes so, no further comments.

Hitman was kind of charming. He had a hard smile that can shoots a spark straight into your chest. He does not show body or anything, but he has great arms. The barcode looked a little weird and kind of made no sense. If i am not sure, I hardly saw any use of it. I mean, being a barcode it was hardly scanned.

Maybe those who had played Hitman might be able to understand it better. I was not sure of certain things actually or I was not smart enough to catch it.

Hitman... 7/10

Too late....

2007-12-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

We never appreciate the value of anything until we lose it. And, one day we find ourselves empty without it. We come to understand that it is too late.

Just being silly.....

2007-12-01T01:26:00.000+08:00

I am not happy with myself. I find myself acting very silly. Honestly, I should kick out such childish behavior out of me. This is unacceptable. I should not be feeling in such a way.Somehow there is no logical reasoning behind such thoughts. I thought I clearly told myself, no such things. Not again. It gets hard. I am so not sure why. Its becoming some kind of burden. An unnecessary one indeed.

Well... I feel like just talking about the day... so..

Woke up around 12pm and got ready. innovateIT has a office now. Seminar Room 3.4
Adit & I went shopping at Sunshine Plaza & Brash Basah Complex. It was nice. New experience.
I really like the way Adit thinks. He was so precise in checking out details and very focused on overall quality. And, of course very smart in decision making.
Oh well, i chose him to be my Vice-Chair for a reason. I am glad with my decision making too.

The freshies were in the office too. They were fun. Very funny. We had good laughter working togather.
Cheng Pei, Fauzi and Nelly. They click well with us. Interesting bunch indeed. They have fun and they are very particular about work. They are like this bunch of all-rounded well-balanced new generation.
Oh and we all planned for the first innovateIT outing on Monday evening. We planning to watch Hitman!
Sounds like a really awesome movie. *can't wait*

Then we all left. Jaan, Vivek & Kristi were asking me to go dinner with them to Macdonalds.
I did not feel like it, so just headed back home

After along time I had good chat with Kris. Catching up on each other's stuff and it was as always nice to talk to him.
He is a nice guy. Someone matured enough to talk to

Then I was talking Kangwei, Mr. 4th President. He was sooooo funny! Teasing him about his love-life-to be.

There is innovateIT meeting tomorrow. We need to release Business Case tomorrow. I am very nervous.
Things are a little messy now and I am a little worried. In fact somewhat not confident. So... ya

And there you go:
I am a very ordinary person who has ordinary life and have ordinary feelings
Beyond the tough, egoistic, practical, hard and hyper person is a very sensitive girl...
I also can write a blog about what happens in my life every day and how I am sad / nervous / worried blah blah

Oh Well..... No Big

2007-11-30T01:21:00.000+08:00

So it was a bad day... no big and not new.
It was a very bad day. Not even a finger size incident helped me feel any good. The blows were back-to-back.
Merciless.
It was a bad day....not big... I've been through worse....
I screwed up a couple of exams.....
Faked some big smiles.....
And maybe hurt someone....
It was a bad day....not big... I do not care
Honestly.. I do not. My ego will not allow me to shed tears over something which I might have deserved.
What happened... happens are results of my decisions, actions and behavior. I deserve no right to complain.
Roses come with thorns. If you get pricked than its your carelessness. Too bad.
It was bad bad day.... And i really feel sad..
But.. its no big, for nothing matters...
Oh well... nothing ever does

The beauty of white...

2007-11-23T01:09:00.001+08:00

It is just a white colonial building, but it does wonders no modern architecture would dare match.
The way the light plays on it is indescribable, so see it for yourself

FYI: All pictures were taken by my Nokia

Kaanal

2007-11-23T00:33:00.001+08:00

Kaanal meaning mirage, is a poem of love by Mohamed Yahssir.

Vote for Kaanal @ http://pg2.indiaglitz.com/

Watch. Surf. Talk

2007-11-22T23:56:00.000+08:00

My linksys router was connected to PC and recently it has been a little cranky. I am not sure if it,too, was affected by the rain. For the past couple of days I was not being able to connect to wireless. I shifted my laptop to my sibling's room.

Thanks to someone, I came to know that my router could be connected to Hubstation! Now the wireless at home is FANTASTIC. I can connect from anything and anywhere.

Hubstation is AWESOME! I do not miss any of my favourite shows because my sister records them! :)
And I watch a 1/2 hour show in 15 minutes because I can forward all the commercials.

So there you go, I have accomplished the Watch & Surf. Next I should explore the Talk...

Thanks to my dad who bought the Hubstation! Thanks to mom to forced him to buy.
And thanks to my little sister who knows how to get things from my parents.

P.S:
- I am not paid for this.
- And the image below was taken from http://starhub.com

Stop!

2007-11-13T01:31:00.000+08:00

This entry is against my ego (one of the rare moments). But I need to really do an outburst now!

I wish whatever is happening now will, seriously, just stop. I am not sure why and how. It is messing my mind a lot. And it is unbearable. Something is not right. I would not shiver like I am doing so, for no reason.

What is happening at this very moment is disturbing me. I have no idea why. This should not be the case! I really wish it stops because I am not sure what I am suppose to do. I cannot control my emotions. They are acting beyond my ego and me.

The Mind Teasers

2007-10-25T00:39:00.000+08:00

Horoscopes are such interesting mind teasers. It amuses me to think how a two liner phrase written by someone (or probably generated by a machine) has the power to create conflicts in any sensible person’s mind. For instance, take a look at Gemini’s horoscope from Facebook widget! *lol*

Basically Islam forbids believe in horoscope. Anything and everything that is associated with horoscope is strongly discouraged. I stay true to my religious beliefs of course, but I cannot stop myself from exploring the science behind these, mind twisting verses.

To a lay-man horoscope is a prediction of what is happening or will happen in your life. That is pretty much what horoscope is. According to wikipedia (the knowledge of the masses ~ Some sudden wise man from BP class) horoscope is derived from a Greek word (as usual!) and it means “a look at the hours”. It’s a study of the positions of the Sun, Moon, planets etc at the time of an event.

The burning question for which many of us do not have a clear answer is, “Are horoscopes true?”; can the positions of the astronomical elements provide a forecast for our daily lives?

[Pssst...I am stealing some time from my BP Assignment to complete this *keke*]

Why cannot horoscopes, indeed, be true?

According to some Philosophical theories, our life could be pre-determined. The events in our daily life is meant to happen and will happen. Going by this, horoscope could be true. How impossible can it be to find out what has been pre-determined? The theist could always argue that it is not possible because only God will know. I am saying; let’s not totally rule out the possibility.

I have not met any psychics or astrologers. I have no knowledge about astrology. So, it’s not fair to mark it utter rubbish. It could all make sense, if we dig deeper. It could.

However, in today’s for-money-only world, we cannot be sure that horoscopes are produced by the true experts. Most of us read it from magazines or mostly the Web. We definitely cannot validate that the lines we read are true predictions based on the Sun, Moon and star. Therefore it sounds ridiculous wanting to belief sentences that could have weak human sources or no human source (heard of computer programs?!).

So, why fuss over something so uncertain? As sudden-wise-man-who-claims-to-be-constantly-wise says what you read could be a HorrorScope in the end.

Life is fun when it is unpredictable and horoscopes tease these fun.

Transition…..

2007-10-18T20:43:00.000+08:00

It has not been easy; definitely not. And, I sense the irritation of reading the melancholy entries over the past few days. I know. I know. I promised not to drag on about what is happening in my life. Bear with me because this is the only avenue, now, where I can spill the cluttered feelings.

As much as I have a temptation to resist this phase that I am going through, I cannot help but co-operate. Even I wonder what might have triggered it. It does not matter what started it that is redundant information because we cannot reverse time (we agreed on this before).

The transition phase is taking to the realms of extreme darkness. I am not pushing away anything, but I am moving away from everything. Quietness suddenly seems the very wise thing to do; the right thing to do, even though everything else has to go.

New place, no people. The loneliness, though painful, does not bother me. I am comfortable and fine. This has been what I desired, but i did not make efforts to seek. In fact, this could be a good continuity. I do not need pillars around me. I am capable of standing solo. As a matter of fact, I always stood alone, even among a close crowd. Until recently…..

I did not realize that I might have become slightly dependent. My arrogance will surely not give space for such weakness. Dependency is the pathway to depression, because nothing is permanent. Agree?

I am not vanishing, just moving away. It had to and has to happen. I am sure it will be for good.

Hide & Seek

2007-10-17T02:07:00.000+08:00

First something special
Then an unmade promise
Now a usual gesture

What I knew would happen and feared facing is seeking me. Can I hide any further?

A ride with Aunty Angela………

2007-10-17T00:58:00.000+08:00

The trip to school today was rather enlightening. Among the disgusting people that I live among, I met with a very interesting Singaporean. Aunty Angela is 60-year old Chinese lady who, for her age, has seen a lot in life.

Our eyes met when we were struggling for balance in the bus. She gave a cute smile and sat on the left side of the bus and I sat on the right side. She looked at me and said, “You look nice”. I said ‘Thank you’. She asked me where I was from and then the conversation begins. Aunty Angela gets up and sits beside me. Now that is a very uncommon sight in Singapore.

It was not very easy understanding each other because she was not well versed in English. However her expressions and very hyper actions made up for the lack of common language. There were many things she said, it would be hard for me to list out, so I will try my best.

Firstly she pointed out about the different Muslims. During her younger days, she had always known the Muslims to be of one community, but now there is so much of differentiation among the Muslims. There are the modern Muslims, whom according to her dress very badly. She refers to the female, of course, who wear very revealing clothes. Then there are the extreme Muslims, who would not flex to the surroundings and disrespect all other opposing factors. ‘How can brothers oppose each other?’ she asked. ‘The five fingers in your hand can be different, but they must work together, otherwise nothing gets done’ she said in her broken English.

She was one of those who saw the racial riots in Singapore during the 1960s. It was her school days and she ran to the Emporium when she saw people slashing each other. She said that everyone in Singapore was brothers and sisters until the Western clouds came by. She was a little anti-American. She said that the September 11 attack should have taught them a lesson, though she is grieves the death of innocent people.

She has traveled to Egypt, Berlin, Bombay, Indonesia etc with her dad when she young. She loved the belly dance. She was in Bombay once, when she gave money to the poor and suddenly she was hogged by many more of them. An Indian man had helped her out and told her not to give. She said she could not help but feel pity for them.

She respects Gandhi a lot and his family. She mentioned that when Gandhi died, Singapore had paid respect by lowering the national flag in sign of mourning. She said it was sad that he had to die, he was a great man.

She was on her way to Bugis and she was also going to KK to get medicine for back problem. She showed me her prescription from SGH. I understood nothing but I felt such a joy when she shared it with me. It felt so special. It reminded me of the time when I read medicine prescriptions to Grandma.

Haha, I am trying to list as much as I can about her. They were just so much that we talked in that 1 hour that you would not see how special she was unless you know what she shared with me. Her comfort level of sharing so much of her life with me, made me feel happier than I could have ever been.

She has a daughter who has been married for 4 years and does not want a kid yet and she has been talking. She mentioned her grandchild, but did not catch her so well.

And yes, that is about it. For now. I rushed to complete this, so it is not very well written, so pardon me. I need to get back to studying for quiz.

*Missing Aunty Angela*

The rain comes by........

2007-10-15T19:11:00.000+08:00

I am now sitting alone at the 5^th Level of school library, facing the large window pane. It is raining……. Wonder why the rain had decided to come by for a visit…….. I am not in the mood for something that, we are convinced, is rather unnecessary.

Verdict: Time will speed ahead to drift the worlds apart

Else, i need a wish to reverse time; to beginning of time

To reverse time……………

2007-10-15T02:13:00.000+08:00

Will it be ever possible to reverse time?
Will we ever get a chance to undo what has been done?
Why have we been deprived of turning things to how they were?

The past couple of days the atmosphere saw some changes. I dealt a familiar but new situation. It was familiar because I have seen it around and it was new because it was the first it happened between us. It was not a fight but a crisis of feelings.

Sometime ago there was climate change in his world. I knew it would affect the weather in mine. The signs were clear but I was not sure if I should listen to them. It sounded foolish for me to make some hasty decisions based on these signs that I could only see and hear. My ego did not let me investigate them further.

But, the signs were pointing to the direction I thought it would. Discomfort clouded my days. Our worlds were going to split apart; far from each other. The question was not why, but when.

I was not going to let time answer that. I doubted my strength to face the truth, which was yet to come. I decided to speed ahead of time and quicken the arrival of end. It would be much easier facing something that was self caused, then something sudden.

I tried, but I failed. It was not possible. His determination to break the wall was much stronger than my stubbornness to build it.

Now, things are supposedly how they were before. He has reversed things, but what time brought on us still stands by. I feel guilty, because I could have been the reason for how things have turned out. I might have hurt someone close. Yet, I could shamelessly say I feel blissful because he is still here.

I need a chance to reverse time; to make some changes and undo what came by. A self-fish thought it is, you may think, but it would surely change the sadness in the air that we breathe now.

Intelligent Idiots

2007-10-11T07:49:00.002+08:00

Speaking of helping people, I've got more complains! This has been in mind for a very long time. It worries me to think that courtesy campaigns are nothing but waste of time, money and efforts.

Yesterday I took my usual route to school via MRT. I was sitting in the middle of the seats. An elderly man boarded the train with his elderly friend, a few stops after mine. What would you expect; someone near him to get up and offer their seat? Well, no one did. I got up, tapped his shoulder and offered my seat. Nope I am not complaining about having to give up my seat. I am referring to the fact that no one, who sat near the corner seats, had the intention to do so. Firstly, for those people who do not know how to read signs (that are in simple pictorial form!), the seats are meant for those who need it. Obviously the elderly man needed in more than the very fit young aged ones.

The elderly man was indeed very sweet. After I offered him the seat, he thanked me twice by smile and waving to me. I certainly hope those who did not even think of helping this friendly man feel the jolt of guilt in them.

That was not it, there is more. I got down at City Hall to board the train to Dhoby Gaut. A man with a walking stick (those medical ones with three foots, I am not sure what they are called) boarded with his wife. NO ONE offered him seat. I am not sure how else could it be obvious that the man did not have a fit leg and would have preferred to stand. It further annoyed me to notice how those sitting down were very young people; some school students. I would label these heartless. Well, what good reason would they have for not helping this man? Were they waiting for someone to help?!

I can hear your mind say, that it is the choice of individual to help someone. Negative! I would say that it is indeed an obligation for those young and fit sitting in the corner seats to get up and offer it those who need. Yes it should be looked at as an obligation. We live in a society and society is more than just collection of different people.

Would it hurt for you to stand a few stops? You can, but an elderly man who has weak bones will not be able to. He requires more effort to stand in a moving train as compared to you. If you are well educated, you should know this without being told. What is the point of being HIGHLY EDUCATED when such a basic message is hard to get across? If you get the best education in the world and yet you fail to think in such situations, you are nothing but a container of unutilized information?

And there is more; refusing to see the logic of letting the person alight before boarding the train, not helping a lady with a pram etc.

Why is it so painful to offer a small help? What do we gain by NOT HELPING?
Why do we refuse to see such simple logic? Why do make such deliberate choice of being a intelligent uncultured idiots?

And, if you feel a pain in your mind now. Good! I have accomplished what i set out to do

We-ak Teabags

2007-10-11T07:49:00.001+08:00

Do you remember the teabag? You would only know the strength of the tea bag when it's put into hot water. Remember that? In the last couple of days I came to wonder if most of us weak teabags.

I am, now, returning home from school. The past few days had been very hard for me. I was drowning in the midst of submissions and test. I just submitted the 'Master of the Killers'; my programming assignment commonly known as IA. IA not only took our breath, but it also sucked the kindness out of many. It revealed the true colours of many around us; the good sides and the ugly sides.

The assignment was given about two weeks ago. Like most class of students, we had the early birds, the mid-line joiners and the latecomers. The early birds, most who I would classify as Java Gurus manage to complete EVERYTHING on time and submit. I did not see many of these early birds though. They were quiet and quick. One, a good friend of mine, was nice enough to teach me a small but important portion. Thanks to him, I accomplished what I thought was impossible. Then the mid-comers were mostly full of whines and dilemma. They were doing and undoing their work with inputs from the surroundings. The latecomers…they… I mean we were just full of excuses.

Then there were this issue about 'helping'. It was not easy, just facing this internal war. We try our best to help those we can, but like I said it's not easy. Help = Time = Rush
Helping others, as you would definitely agree, takes up time. It is even worse when it is last minute. It could be hair plucking explaining / trying to understand Java codes and debugging is just much more bugging.

Someone, I respect a lot, said that help is for those who deserve it. I guess I should agree. We can help those who are trying to help themselves. It was frustrating to see many, who were asking not for help but to take advantage of kindness. They started work late and yet they demand the time of others so that they can get their work done. Some were trying hard to run away from such inconsiderate people. First they asked us how to do the project, then they make us debug their errors. Hellooooo we've got work to complete also? Yet, it was hard to not help them because it takes a stoned-heart to ignore a helpless soul. Though they smelled self-fish, they had such sympathetic face.

We do not have obligation to help them; this I just cannot seem to get that carved on my mind. The latecomers had somehow made a choice (in the name of whatever excuse they may have) to sink. Why should we jump in and save them, putting ourselves to risk? WHY?
But, how can I not? Its not humanity to let a person go down just because it was a choice they made. Should we not try to at least wake the person up? Or at least look out for them?

Oh yes, I agree we cannot look out for everyone, but we can and should help those around us, not matter reasons they have for their state. Do you not think so?

I think it's our judgments about them that causes the reluctance to help. During the IA, most of us were willing to help our friends and peers, but we were indeed very selective about who we are helping. I feel that it is partly because of what we feel for the people.

Did we let our judgments block our mind or did we break under pressure?

Not a 'Pandora' Blog

2007-10-11T07:43:00.000+08:00

Pandora Box is an ancient Greek myth that has been exploited in various ways by the fiction world. Look it up and make some research for the sake of widening your knowledge (if necessary). As much as I have known, Pandora's Box is the box that contained all the evil in the world and Pandora, the first woman to be created, had opened it out of curiosity. Thus, evil infests the world. This is one portion of Greek myth for you.

On a side note, it is indeed interesting how this Greek myth, in someway links to Islam, Christianity and what some term as 'Abrahamic Religions'. My only concern is of course its similarity to what has been said in Islam, where my true belief lies. Keeping this a side, for I dislike this being a discussion.

By 'Pandora' Blog, I mean a blog that is filled with unhappy & unpleasant material; the Online Whine Sites. Pardon me, but I do not mean to be rude. I am sure you have read many blog sites that exist for the sole purpose of displaying the 'crappy days' of people's life. This is not what I want this blog to be.

Here, I put in all my opinions and thoughts which will mostly end up in arguments, in the physical world. Here, I spill all the questions and answers that circle my conscious mind. I hope you have been observant enough to note the keywords; opinions, my conscious mind. If you did, then you are matured enough on the conclusions you jump to upon reading my entries. Am I right or am I 'right'?

Yes, I agree. I cannot totally refrain from 'not whining'. After all, I am a woman! I will occasionally type a whole chunk of text, full of frustration, irritation and hasty conclusions. However, this is a place where I want to practice structuring my opinions, so that I can think about what I think. :

And, of course, I hope you think about what I think too.

* ~ ** Nazhath Faheema ** ~ *

Gentlemen – contrary to the common belief

What can i do if i do not look eligible for reserved seat?!

Outcast

The boy who amused, astounded and annoyed me

My Post-Presidential Election Reflection

‘Citizens without Citizenship’: A Complex Definition

Be a Pencil

The road on the other side

The Corporate Ant

Lazy in Luxury

Judging the cover

From a friend who cares

Difference between Complpete and Finished

Blog on the go

Wipe your jokes please

Spiked in her smell, smile and stretches

Skeptic Creature

Homemaker or Unemployed?

Calling Jihadists! I've got a proposal for you

I confess. You are the best

No, Not Funny!

Mirror Mirror On the Wall

The Telepathic Ants

The Mother of a Mom-to-be

The heart and mind

Persepolis

Beep! Beep! You're received a ...

Totally Irresponsible!

It’s about, ‘What is Right’

Time for Forceful Actions?

Pages and pages of Pain

Yesterday was 21st of July

The 'Last' Lecture

Bye Bye 2pm

Show off ze Curve

Fill my Glass

Screw de Fools!

Blabbering from ******

Fluttery butterflies......

Serenity....

Hazy Days

Fade my Fears.... Fade

The New Look

Iron Man ........ 7.5 / 10

Read, Run, Respect .... (50th Blog Post!)

Summer sun, something's begun...

She lies there ...breathless...regretfully

Regrets...

It is NOT the ‘Holy Book’

Pavilia.... is just awesome!

And you will continue to be

A crack.....

Midnight Blabbering

Friday Night Bitching….

*~*~*~ Jumper ~*~*~*

Notebook Time!

Stress Level Up! Sanity Level Down!

Wired up in Pink!

RENOVATING

‘Testing Testing 1..2..3’

Blabbering from Bus

Sunday night blabbers

Cold War - Windows Live Messenger PM, 2008

Seriously serious

Ego with 'special'

New year, new semester, new me

LIVE FROM TR639

Munafiqun Society

Familiar Strangers

*~~ Hitman ~~*

Too late....

Just being silly.....

Oh Well..... No Big

The beauty of white...

Kaanal

Watch. Surf. Talk

Stop!

The Mind Teasers

Transition…..

* ~ Nazhath Faheema ~ *

~~~ Jumper ~~~

* Hitman *